Who is deadest to me?
1. Chris, for pulling a bunch of Phil-style pandering bullcrap and being an actual dickweed about it.
2. LaKisha, for singing "Jesus, Take The Wheel" and also sucking at the singing part.
3. Phil, for those things that he does.
4. Sanjaya, for ignoring both Joe's plea to sing "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy" and my plea to sing Tim McGraw's "Indian Outlaw."
I will let you decide. The phone lines are now open!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
I vote LaKisha.
At least Phil stayed on key and didn't sound like a cruise-ship singer, like certain front-running deadly bores I might name. MELINDA.
Wow, so divergent on Melinda, still. I really liked the performance, and on top of that, she actually sounded to me like something remotely approaching country, which was...not universal tonight, I don't think. (Not that I don't know other people who think she's boring, because I do.)
Chris...that was bad, but I'd still go with Sanjaya in the "deadest to me" area, because that was his worst vocal yet, was boring, AND was meta in a way that bugged the shit out of me.
That's where the Sanjaya stuff stuck in my craw tonight: He's usually either outrageously bad or absolutely stultifying, but this time he was stultifying while copping to being outrageously bad. It squicked me out more than he usually does.
That said, Jordin? Was awesome tonight, singing a song I ordinarily dislike.
Wait, what did Chris do? Don't tell me I have to re-watch, the recaplet is ready to go!
Oh, you love Chris, Joe. You've already committed yourself to loving Chris forever and ever and ever, and whenever the two of you fight, he will invoke the memories of the fallen while acting like a snitty little bitch, and you will sniffle and apologize and beg him to forgive you, and the rest of your friends will hate his guts -- silently, for fear of alienating you, when true friends would at least try to be truthful, so that you don't waste your life on someone whose endless parade of bullshit and drama makes him so obviously unworthy of your affection. That's all.
He had one bad week! You don't KNOW HIM like I do!
If Phil isn't the most dead, he is certainly the most dead-LOOKING.
I, personally, would vote for Chris, because I can't stand the little "I'm offended, Simon, by what you said about my voice being nasal, and also, GO HOKIES" thing that he was doing.
The sad thing, Joe, is that for a while, the people who care about you will become so accustomed to hating Chris that it will bond us in a way that's powerful, yet ultimately destructive. Like, I've only met Sarah a couple of times, but for a while, we'll seem to really connect while dishing about the shitty way Chris treats you. We'll swap stories about the time he snotted at you for asking him to turn down his matchbox twenty records, and when we hang out, we'll talk for HOURS about what a mean, whiny poseur he is.
And the thing is, it'll feel like Sarah and I have really become great friends, but a year later, after Chris has cleaned out your 401k and moved to Boulder, you'll cry on our shoulders, and then it'll pass. And then what? Sarah and I will have nothing to talk about! Our entire relationship will have been built on our shared hatred of someone who has moved on to become someone else's problem! What will we have, Joe? What then? Think about it.
Shut up, Stephen.
EXACTLY.
Hee.
Also, Stephen, don't worry about lack of shared hatred in a year's time, because Sundance will have auditioned again, and...oh, look who I'm talking to.
I'm going to go with Lakisha because ... ew to your Jesus country song.
Sanjaya gets points in my book for a perfectly crazy country hair-do and for choosing a song that suited his situation if not his "vocal" "talents."
sars, you're being too harsh on Melinda. She was outstanding last night, and actually looked a little sexy and was having fun.
Sanjaya must die. He should be dead by now. I completely loathe his existence on this show.
Melinda's hair did look a thousand times better last night. And I'm not denying that she has an amazing voice -- she does. I don't think other people who like her are wrong for doing so. But her performances don't hold my interest, because they have a technician feel to them -- like she's an excellent mimic of "relating to the story," but doesn't really relate to the story.
You could level the same accusation at Jordin and you wouldn't necessarily be wrong, but I would rather listen to Jordin; Melinda is a pro, but because she's a pro, in my opinion, she operates at a certain remove from the material, and as a result, I kind of don't care about it.
And Simon was right to call her on the aw-shucksing. I don't think she's insincere with that, exactly, but it's time she got past it, because it's been feeling a bit needy for a while now.
Post a Comment