A whole lot of mediocre this week. Which means beyond Lil (slam dunk) and Taylor, Arianna, Nathaniel, and Alex (no shot), I have zero idea who's advancing.
Von Smith (+2, sang first)
"You're All I Need to Get By"
No, it's not Von's fault that I couldn't stop thinking about Kelly Clarkson's totally excellent performance of this song from Season 1, but still. Von should maybe not be saying "sho nuff" at any time. He also might sound weirder trying to supress his foghorn of a voice than just belting it out. I still think grandmas everywhere will vote for him, though, and the judges totally praised him.
Taylor Vaifanua
"If I Ain't Got You" (+2, Alicia Keys)
Poor Taylor, who I have always loved, looked like she had reached the ceiling of what she could do this week. Simon was full of shit when he pretended not to remember her later on in the show, but his point is well taken: she's done.
Alex Wagner-Trugman
"I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" (+2, Elton John)
What a weird, wonderful little performance. I mean, not "wonderful" from a vocal standpoint, but how can you not totally love this kid? I'm starting to understand how we get Sanjayas or Kevin Covaises, because I realize the singing was mediocre at best, but I totally want him to succeed. He won't, though.
Arianna Afsar
"The Winner Takes It All"
Aw, Linda. Sad. Arianna could have helped you out by preserving some semblance of a melody from the song, rather than just blurting it out three words at a time and shouting. Hopefully her grandfriends will be there to comfort her when she doesn't advance.
Ju'not Joyner
"Hey There Delilah"
The judges were all sorts of up his ass, even though I found the performance totally snooze-inducing. Plus, he talked about "respecting the original artist" or some such craziness that should never be spoken when the artist in question are the Pain White Ts.
Kristen McNamara
"Give Me One Reason"
Nice bunchy flower epaulets, a-hole. Even more infuriating was that she doesn't technically suck as a singer, but all her other bullshit converges to make her no less excruciating to listen to.
Nathaniel Marshall
"I Would Do Anything For Love"
First of all, how do you try to cram all 25 minutes of this song into the time span of an Idol performance? Second of all: yikes. Third of all, I think Simon set the land speed record for homophobic comments in his critique and yet he STILL managed to be nicer to the kid than I expected. I think I like Nathaniel's overdramatic ass (when he's not exasperating me), but -- much like his own grandmother -- I don't care for his singing.
Felicia Barton
"No One" (+2, Alicia Keys)
I like her a lot, but she oversang this song. Which is too bad, because that YouTube video of her singing this on a boardwalk somewhere is actually really good. I think she got caught up in trying to impress the judges with a bunch of ill-advised flourishes. She was still pretty good, though, and I think the judges like her comeback story enough that they're pulling for her. I would be totally fine with her advancing, particularly from this largely uninspiring group.
Scott McIntyre
"Mandolin Rain"
Wow, Bruce Hornsby. Somebody call my dad. Scott's fine and all, but I just don't find his voice the least bit interesting. He's probably the front-runner for the Top Guy slot this week, but I'm not thrilled about it.
Kendall Beard
"This One's For the Girls"
Red meat for the country fans? Very possibly. I'm more hung up on her claims that she's 24 and not 16 years old. Wild.
Jorge Nunez
"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" (+2, Elton John)
Okay, the entirely of Season 7 had ZERO Elton John songs, and now we've got two in one night? That's some bullshit. Anyway, Jorge was -- like almost everyone tonight -- totally fine and not all that interesting. But the judges' totally over the top, bordering on offensively condescending critique may have pushed some votes his way.
Lil Rounds (+3, sang last)
"Be Without You"
THAT'S more like it. She'd barely sung three bars of the song before I declared her the best of the night, so much was the separation between Lil and the pack. I was iffy on her after the over-praised "I Will Always Love You" in Hollywood, but she's totally won me back. This was overpraised too, but only because the judges were ridiculous. Lil was still awesome. Loved the song choice, the way she held back, the way she already carries herself like a star onstage (only she and Adam have that so far). Very, very few people could get away with that "call this show if you can't be without me" lyric change without me getting annoyed, but Lil pulled it off.
I honestly have no idea who to predict. If I had my druthers, it'd be Lil, Felicia, and I guess Alex or Von (slim pickings among the guys this week -- if the women can't get 2/3 this week, something's wrong). But I expect Lil, Scott, and either Felicia, Ju'not, or Kendall. Or Jorge or Von. Or Kristen, god help us all.
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2 comments:
Joe --
I'm so glad you said that about Ju'not! I thought I was the only one who felt that way. First, I don't think that particular songs plays as a ballad at ALL; and second, I too found the whole performance pretty snooze-worthy. I like his voice well enough, but ... eh.
LIL ROUNDS FOR PRESIDENT!
I didn't pick Lil, because I had formed an impression of her as the S8 Melinda: excellent technique, toxic levels of aw-shucksiness, a liiiiittle overrated and not the kind of singer I relate to.
But she can really sing; she's got some depth; and she's not all "who, little ol' me?" about things (this makes it sound like I hated Melinda, which I didn't, and I think she was sincere; it just grated after months on end). I'm glad to be wrong.
I may pick her as my third, but I may do that pool thing where I go for a long shot, hoping nobody else takes him/her, and try to Hoover up some outlier points. Didn't work last year, doesn't mean it can't.
(This is Sarah, by the way.)
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