The Matter Of The Goke

As much as I would like to hate the guy who's been cast as this year's "I can sing every ballad about my heart straight from my heart because of the sad thing that happened to my heart" contestant, I don't hate Danny Gokey as much as I thought I would.

I mean...okay. "Hero." I get it. But he seemed kind of embarrassed by the reactions from Paula and Kara (AS WAS APPROPRIATE), and he also did that song only about 50 percent as histrionically as he could have, and 60 percent as histronically as several early contenders did tonight. 

I would like to get the copyright at this moment on all versions of "Gokey Is Okey-Dokey." And the first time you see that sign, remember the moment Linda warned you about how stupid American Idol audience members are.

Also "The Goke Is Okey-Doke," etc. etc. etc. All variations. Don't try to steal my idea.