Name? Ashley Anderson (20, Clarksburg, NJ)Major Malfunction? Knows enough to butter Simon up with a Leona Lewis song.
For Real? She's pretty unremarkable otherwise.
Name? Casey Carlson (20, Minneapolis, MN)Major Malfunction? She doesn't really have one. She even spells her first name in the least egregious way possible.
For Real? There's Haley Scarnato potential there. Which, before you scoff, would make her a fairly lucrative pool pick.
Name? Von Smith (22, Greenwood, MO)Major Malfunction? So remember back when Dreamgirls was just released and there was that little white kid who was all over YouTube and The View singing "And I Am Telling You" in the style of a more-aggressive hydrogen bomb? Allow me to reintroduce you to Von Smith.
For Real? Much to my immense chagrin, yes. He killed "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," and I don't mean that in the Randy Jackson sense, I mean "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is lying dead by the side of the road somewhere in Kansas City having been strangled, pummeled, and bled dry. Clearly, this is the kind of talent America is clamoring for.
Name? Michael Castro (16, Rockwall, TX)Major Malfunction? Jason Castro's little brother.
For Real? Contrary to the opinion of Jason's legion of semi-literate fans, I liked ol' dreadlocks for the most part. I am not, thus far, much of a fan of the younger Castro. He's got all the vocal limitations of his brother but none of the charm. Still, he's got an instant recognition factor that could keep him alive through the Hollywood and semi-final rounds.
Name? Matt Breitzke (27, Bixby, OK)Major Malfunction? Welder. Possible former cast member of the HBO prison drama "Oz."
For Real? He seems to be in a kind of existential arm-wrestling match with Michael Sarver for the title of Beefy, Blue-Collar Family Man Contestant of Choice. I choose Michael, but I could definitely be in the minority there.
Name? Jessica Furney (19, Wamego, KS)Major Malfunction? Auditioned with a Janis Joplin song and didn't totally blow it.
For Real? She seems like the kind of girl I THINK will catch fire in Hollywood but ultimately doesn't.
Name? Jamar Rogers (26, Milwaukee, WI)Major Malfunction? Sang "California Dreamin'" for his audition.
For Real? I literally don't remember anything else about him. Not a good sign.
Name? Danny Gokey (28, Milwaukee, WI)Major Malfunction? Wife died four months (weeks? days?) ago. Is kind of a drama queen about it.
For Real? He single-handedly made me happy to not be recapping this season. Because nobody likes to be the asshole pointing out how the recent widower is being kind of obnoxious as the shoves her photo into everybody's face and tells stories about how bad-assedly he yelled at the doctors during her final days. And certainly nobody likes to be pointing those kinds of things out for the better part of the season, which is how long I expect Danny to stick around.
Name? Anoop Desai (21, Chapel Hill, NC)Major Malfunction? Completing his masters in Southern folklore and writing his thesis on Southern BBQ? Did I dream that whole thing up?
For Real? I appreciate the dedication to non-traditional education, but since he's competing that bullshitty major at North Carolina, I no longer have to like him. Um, also, he wasn't that remarkable.
Name? India Morrison (22, Kansas City, MO)Major Malfunction? Auditioned with her sister, the ever-awesome Asia.
For Real? I don't even think I paid attention to her vocal chops because I found her and her sister to be so incredibly likeable and fun. I'm really rooting for her. Maybe the judges/voters will too?
Name? Asa Barnes (28, Kansas City, MO)Major Malfunction? Band leader. Wildly attractive. Is named "Asa" despite being under the age of 75.
For Real? Impressed the judges by singing Michael Jackson, which is apparently very rare. I love him, but he doesn't stand out from the crowd enough to be a sure-thing.
Name? Lil Rounds (23, Memphis, TN)Major Malfunction? Married with children and a tornado-ravaged home.
For Real? Lil Rounds is delightful. And I just love saying her name. And she can sing. And the judges adore her. Will that all be enough? I think she's a contender.
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