Idol Pool 2010

AND YOUR WINNERS ARE...

2010-05-26T20:33:00.001-07:00

Mark's nom de dragge managed to hold on to the top spot thanks to some last-reel heroics from Janet Jackson and the Beatles (via Joe Cocker). Truth be told, he didn't need their help at all, but it was a nice crowning moment.

I can't even talk about the Idol finale. Lee shouldn't have won, but I can't work up a hate lather for the adorable lil' guy. The truth of the matter is simply that in this age of texting, no woman is ever going to win this show again. It's kind of a miracle Crystal made it this far. Far more notable, to me, was the rest of the finale, which was a hot mess of hot messes, which for Idol finales is certainly saying something. (Seriously, that Chicago performance was the nadir of something. If not Idol, maybe music itself.)

ANYWAY! Congratulations are in order for...

1st: Mark "Tequila Mockingbird" Blankenship $288

2nd: Penni McDermott $72

Full standings and payouts coming this week.

Thanks for another great year in the pool, you guys. You made me really glad I decided to do it another year.

Still yet more artist picks that would have paid off at least as well as Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder, AND I'M FINE WITH THAT

2010-05-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

The Box Tops
Brandi Carlile
Patty Griffin
Ingrid Michaelson
Alannah Myles
R.E.M.
Crystal effing Bowersox

That's right. Thanks to Bowersox's performance of her own songs last week, I would have been served just as well by picking ONE OF THE CONTESTANTS THEMSELVES as I have been by traditional Idol warhorses Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson. Jackson DIED last year, people! How on earth has that not resulted in a rash of ill-considered performance tributes?

I just don't understand this show anymore.

Week 12 Standings

2010-05-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

TOP 3 POINTS

Casey +1 (eliminated, but sang first)
Lee +7 (sang last)
Crystal +5

Beatles +2 (McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed")

TOP 4 STANDINGS

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 180
Penni -- 173
Linda -- 171

Stephen -- 163
Dena -- 161
Joe - 158
Katie -- 154
Brian H. #2 -- 152
Rick -- 152

Roger -- 148
Jonah -- 145
Maria -- 145
Megan -- 145
Adam -- 141

Kyle -- 135
Brian H. -- 130
Andrew -- 130
D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 127
Denise -- 123
DeAnn -- 121

Brian Cool -- 116
Brian Corridan -- 114
Tracie -- 112
Eliza -- 111
David -- 107
Caitlin -- 105
Vance -- 101
Kristeen -- 100

Pat -- 98
Emily -- 97
Kristi -- 81
Mark -- 67
Aaron -- 63
Marc -- 63
Sarah -- 55
John -- 24

Week 11 Standings

2010-05-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I've been delinquent.

TOP 4 STANDINGS

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 173
Linda -- 165
Penni -- 165

Stephen -- 158
Dena -- 155
Joe - 152
Katie -- 151
Roger -- 147
Brian H. #2 -- 145
Jonah -- 144
Maria -- 144
Rick -- 144

Adam -- 139
Megan -- 139
Kyle -- 130
Brian H. -- 125
Andrew -- 125
Denise -- 122
D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 120

Brian Cool -- 115
DeAnn -- 114
Brian Corridan -- 112
Eliza -- 108
Tracie -- 107
David -- 102
Vance -- 101
Caitlin -- 100

Pat -- 97
Emily -- 96
Kristeen -- 93
Kristi -- 81
Mark -- 67
Aaron -- 63
Marc -- 63
Sarah -- 55
John -- 24

Artist picks that bafflingly enough would have been as good as or better than Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder this season, not that I'm bitter

2010-05-12T07:32:00.001-07:00

Kate Bush
Fall Out Boy
Free
fucking Hinder
Kenny Loggins
Owl City
The Swell Season
World Party

Also, Jamie Foxx seems to be under the curious delusion that 90% of all singing happens in the eyes. This makes him an idiot.

Week 11 Standings

2010-05-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

Bonus Points:
Lee +2 (sang last)
Aaron +1 (sang first)
Big Mike -2 (bottom three)

STANDINGS TO DATE

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 166
Stephen -- 153
Linda -- 153
Penni -- 150

Dena -- 143
Katie -- 142
Roger -- 140
Brian H. #2 -- 140

Joe - 138
Adam -- 135
Jonah -- 133
Maria -- 133
Rick -- 129
Megan -- 127
Kyle -- 125
Brian H. -- 120
Andrew -- 120

Denise -- 113
Brian Corridan -- 112
D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 114
Brian Cool -- 106
DeAnn -- 104
Tracie -- 102

Vance -- 99
Eliza -- 99
David -- 97
Caitlin -- 95

Emily -- 89
Pat -- 88
Kristeen -- 88
Kristi -- 81
Mark -- 67
Aaron -- 63
Marc -- 61
Sarah -- 55
John -- 22

Just Duet

2010-05-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

Oh shut up, I'm in a time crunch. Anyway, points and standings should go up this afternoon. In the meantime, they've announced that there will be two duets performed this week. Crystal pairs with Lee, while Big Mike pairs with Casey.

Now, last year, the duet songs ("Slow Ride" and ... um ... whatever Kris and Gokey did) weren't originally duets, but that doesn't mean we can't hope for actual duets this time around. Remember, it's Songs from Movies week -- who's to say Big Mike and Casey can't serenade each other with some "Up Where We Belong"?

What are y'all hoping for? And how much do you wish Aaron and Siobahn were still around to sing something uber-cheesy like "After All"?

Casey James Will Outlive Us All

2010-05-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

How many people told me Casey James was obviously going home this week, taking my hopes of beating Stephen with him? How many?

EVERYBODY, that's who.

And did he go home? No, he did not. And why? Because the audience saw through the judges' ridiculous attempt to tear him down and to build up wee Aaron Kelly, who for real is NOT GOOD, and has been carried along despite many terrible performances.

And now Casey James and I are off to take our unicorn ride together.

Week 10 Standings

2010-05-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

So Siobahn went home and took her wailing and feathers and Cape Cod intensity (and, incidentally, Roger and Brian H.'s chances) with her. More distressing for certain poolies may have been Casey James dropping to the bottom two after receiving some of his best reviews of the competition.

The bonus points laid out as such:

Lee +1 (sang first)
Siobahn +2 (sang last)
Michael -2 (bottom three)
Casey -3 (bottom two)

Shania Twain +5 (theme week)
Rascal Flatts +2 (performed)
Aretha Franklin +2 (Siobahn's "Think")

All this means Mark is still in first place, but Stephen gained a bit on him (and also put some separation between him and Linda for second). The top three all have Crystal, so it looks like the placement of Big Mike (Mark), Aaron (Stephen), and Casey (Linda) will decide the pool. On the outside rail, Penni needs Lee to go all the way and for Crystal to get shockingly eliminated very soon.

STANDINGS TO DATE

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 157
Stephen -- 147
Linda -- 143

Penni -- 138
Katie -- 135
Roger -- 133
Brian H. #2 -- 133
Dena -- 133
Adam -- 131

Joe - 128
Jonah -- 126
Maria -- 126
Kyle -- 120
Rick -- 117
Megan -- 117
Brian H. -- 115
Andrew -- 115
Brian Corridan -- 110
Denise -- 108
D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 107
Brian Cool -- 101

DeAnn -- 97
Tracie -- 97
Vance -- 94
Eliza -- 92
David -- 92
Caitlin -- 90

Emily -- 84
Pat -- 83
Kristi -- 81
Kristeen -- 81
Mark -- 67
Aaron -- 63
Marc -- 61
Sarah -- 55
John -- 22

Step Aside, Bruce Gowers...

2010-05-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

...I've got a new most-hated behind-the-scenes presence on Idol: Ken Warwick, I hate you. And everybody who's been zeroed out on Michael Jackson this season can line up right behind me to deliver whoopings.

Via Reality Blurred (and regarding the last-minute theme change from "Teen Idols" to "Billboard #1s" during the week Miley Cyrus mentored):

After being voted out, Siobhan Magnus explained in an interview with the L.A. Times that executive producer Ken Warwick changed the theme:
“There was too many duplications of everything. Two people wanted Jackson 5, two wanted Michael Jackson, two wanted to do the Monkees. … [Warwick] got really mad. He was, like, ‘Never have I had so many people want the same thing!’ So after we’d been rehearsing all day, everything got halted everything, and we had to wait for a few hours while they made a new list of songs. It had never been done before, but the theme was changed to Billboard No. 1 hits.”

Week 9 Standings

2010-04-28T07:32:00.001-07:00

Again, I fell behind. Sorry. I was too busy basking in my totally correct Tim Urban prediction. (In case you're curious, this week I'm predicting a Big Mike ouster with Siobahn and a Lee/Crystal shocker in the Bottom 3.) Anyhoo, here's where we stand heading into Shania Week:

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 149
Stephen -- 135
Linda -- 134
Katie -- 130
Penni -- 130

Roger -- 129
Adam -- 128
Dena -- 126
Brian H. #2 -- 126
Jonah -- 121
Maria -- 121
Joe - 121

Brian Corridan -- 110
Brian H. -- 110
Kyle -- 110
Andrew -- 110Megan -- 110
Rick -- 109
Denise -- 106
D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 101

Brian Cool -- 99
Tracie -- 92
DeAnn -- 91
Vance -- 91
Eliza -- 90

David -- 87
Caitlin -- 85
Emily -- 82
Kristi -- 81
Pat -- 81

Kristeen -- 76
Mark -- 67
Aaron -- 63
Marc -- 61
Sarah -- 55
John -- 22

The battle of the sexes takes a turn

2010-04-21T21:09:00.001-07:00

Can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that tonight marks the very first time this season -- no kidding, the absolute zero-exceptions first time this season -- that an elimination has happened without at least one female contestant going home? For eight weeks (including the three semis, where it's written into the rules), the only time a woman hasn't gone home was when the judges used their save, when NOBODY went home. True, a guy went home last week... but he took Katie along with him.

I'm not sure what this means. And I don't think I mean to say that the audience or the judges or the producers are sexist in their choices. But I find this particular pattern far too curious to let it go by without comment.

Week 8 Points/Standings

2010-04-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

Bonus Points:
Crystal: +1 (sang first)
Casey: +2 (sang last)
Tim Urban: -2 (Bottom Three)
Elvis Presley: +5 (theme night)
The Beatles: +2 (Katie sang "Let It Be" on results night)

STANDINGS TO DATE:

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 137
Stephen -- 125
Adam -- 123

Katie -- 122
Penni -- 122
Linda -- 122
Roger -- 121
Dena -- 116
Brian H. #2 -- 114
Jonah -- 113
Maria -- 113
Joe -- 111
Brian Corridan -- 110

Brian H. #1 -- 103
Kyle -- 103
Andrew -- 103
Denise -- 101
Rick -- 101
Megan -- 100
D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 94
Brian Cool -- 94

Eliza -- 87
DeAnn -- 86
Tracie -- 85
Vance -- 82
Kristi -- 81
Emily -- 79
Caitlin -- 78
David -- 78
Pat -- 78

Kristeen -- 69
Mark -- 61
Aaron -- 61
Marc -- 61
Sarah -- 53
John -- 20

Tim Urban Is Going Home This Week

2010-04-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

I know it seems like Tim is almost cosmically destined to go Top 4 on this wretched black hole of a season. But you can't argue with science, especially as it applies to my own personal thoughts and feelings. And this science says that Tim Urban is going home this week. Because I finally want him to stay.

This has happened on almost every season I've watched. Some or other highly hateable contestant finally Stockholm Syndromes me into rooting for them, be it for their sheer commitment to artifice (Kellie Pickler) or anarchic raging against the machine (Sanjaya), or amused resignation to their fate (Kristy Lee Cook). The common thread for all three, besides being near-universally despised for overstaying their welcome, was that the instant I started really liking them, they got voted off. This has happened with a chronometer's precision.

And now Tim Urban has wormed his way into my heart, with his smiley unflappability and strategically deployed upper arms. You could argue that with the possible exception of Pickler, Tim differentiates himself from his historical brethren by actually improving his vocals to the point where he's largely pleasant to listen to. I say it doesn't matter. The Curse of Joe's Begrudging Affection will hold sway and Tim will be eliminated this week.

[Also, my apologies that the scoring update has been so delayed. Once again, it's taken me the bulk of the week to actually watch the show. I'll get the points up before tomorrow's show airs.]

Reason #812 that American Idol is actually terrible as a put-together television broadcast

2010-04-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

"Hi, we've got the cast of Glee here! We're not going to mention it until super-late in the show, but we will position them so that they're in the backgrounds of shots early and often. That way, you'll be squinting past the judges and interviews to see if that's really them -- which, again, we won't confirm until the very end. So, you know, feel free to focus your attention on that distraction instead of the, what's it called? Oh, yeah: the show."

Week 7 Points/Standings

2010-04-11T16:39:00.001-07:00

Sorry I wasn't around with performance recaps this week. A flu + freelance obligations kept me in a state of barely-conscious animation. I only just watched the performances today -- probably one of the best weeks this whole season. Andrew probs should have gone home, but then the judges wouldn't have been able to use their all-important save then, would they?

Speaking of which, the points ended up a bit quirky on account of the Save. By getting saved Michael got a +3 bonus. But he was still in the Bottom Two, so that's a -3. Also, by virtue of not being eliminated, Mike gets the same 5 points everybody else gets. What it all means is that, yes, Mike (+5 net for the week) ends up with more points than Andrew (+2 net) and Aaron (+4 net), even though he had fewer votes. Blame it on the save!

Bonus points this week:
Aaron +1 (sang first)
Lee +2 (sang last)
Aaron -2 (Bottom 3)
Andrew -3 (Bottom 2)
Mike -3 (Bottom 2)
Mike +3 (Judges' Save)
The Beatles +5 (theme week)

STANDINGS TO DATE

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 124
Stephen -- 114
Adam -- 113

Katie -- 110
Penni -- 110
Linda -- 109
Roger -- 109
Brian Corridan -- 108
Dena -- 103
Jonah -- 101
Maria -- 101
Brian H. #2 -- 101

Joe -- 98
Brian H. #1 -- 97
Kyle -- 97
Andrew -- 97
Denise -- 94

D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 89
Rick -- 89
Brian Cool -- 87
Megan -- 87
Kristi -- 81

Tracie -- 79
Eliza -- 78
DeAnn -- 78
Vance -- 77
Caitlin -- 72
David -- 72
Pat -- 71

Emily -- 69
Mark -- 61
Aaron -- 61
Marc -- 61
Kristeen -- 56
Sarah -- 53
John -- 20

For those keeping score...

2010-04-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

The tally was Lennon: 3, McCartney: 6. If you guessed that the only people willing to grab Lennon songs would be the two "artists" and the oddball, you would be correct. We can therefore all express shock together that McCartney's the more Idol-friendly of the two. Again, I mean.

Week 6 Results/Standings

2010-04-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry I'm late on the standings. The leaderboard is starting to shake up now with Didi (one of this year's most-picked contestants) gone.

Bonus points:
Aaron +2
Siobahn +1
Katie -2
Tim -3
Aretha Franklin +2

STANDINGS TO DATE

Tequila (Mark's #2) - 104
Stephen - 103
Linda - 97
Roger - 97
Brian Corridan - 96

Katie -- 95
Adam -- 93
Dena -- 93
Penni -- 93
Jonah -- 91
Maaria -- 91
Brian H. -- 90
Kyle -- 90

Joe - 88
Andrew -- 87
Denise -- 87
Brian H. #2 -- 86
Brian Cool -- 80
D'jonnaisse -- 80

Megan -- 77
Rick -- 77
Kristi -- 74
Tracie -- 72
Vance -- 70

Eliza -- 68
Pat - 66
DeAnn - 66
Caitlin -- 65
David -- 62

Mark -- 59
Aaron -- 59
Marc - 59
Emily -- 59
Sarah -- 51
Kristeen -- 46
John -- 20

Well, I'm out.

2010-03-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

So I might as well go all scorched-earth on this shit.

Hey, thanks, Idol and Usher, for proving to me that you can still sound off-pitch while using Auto-Tune. Way to go, Bruce Gowers, for cutting away from Michael at the exact moment that he started tossing Seacrest around like a belligerent frat boy with a fake ID; that Emmy of yours was surely well-earned. And screw you, Sean Combs. Once you demand your FIFTH GODDAMN NAME CHANGE, you go back to where you started and you stay there.

That's right, I said it.

Top 10 Performances

2010-03-31T04:39:00.000-07:00

The Theme: R&B/Soul
The Mentor: Usher
The Douchey Sunglasses: omnipresent

Siobahn Magnus (sang first +1)
"Through the Fire"
To my ear, this was the first all-out disaster of Siobahn's time on Idol. The low notes weren't there for her, and the key changes were an ever-exploding minefield that left my beloved weirdo limbless and screaming. Literally (didn't she say last week she wasn't going to do that?). And, sorry Randy, I don't think that outfit was doing her any favors either. The one bright spot came during her teach. The dubious tone in her voice as she told us "[Usher's] advice was more about my personal style?" Nice.

Casey James
"Hold On, I'm Coming"
Actual quality of his performances aside, Casey is one of the very few this season who already has the look and feel of an actual performer (and if Kara DioGuardi has said that, Ryan would still be hopping up and down and giggling). The sameiness of his performances is going to bite him sooner or later, but for now his professional competence easily outshines at least half the field in any given week. Simon's praise wasn't exactly unwarranted, but definitely strange. Giving Casey credit for "choosing" an R&B song ... on R&B Week? Saying we saw a "different side" of Casey tonight? If you say so.

Big Mike
"Ready for Love"
I'm happy Mike chose this, if only so I can type out "India.Arie," perhaps the single most pretentious name in pop music. Mike's voice was absolutely in good form here, and while the performance had the distinct feel of a cool-down number at a concert, a) it nonetheless made me think of Mike as a legit artist in concert, and b) it backed him off the lounge-lizard ledge he's been teetering on the last couple weeks.

Didi Benami
"What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?"
I already discussed my extreme frustration with Ryan's "CRY, BITCH!" antics, so I will just transition to Paula mode and mention what a lovely dress Didi was wearing tonight. I won't deny that Didi's performance was fairly boring and inconsequential, and I think Kara is right to nudge her back towards the "singer/songwriter" thing. Beneath the layers of obnoxiousness, Kara's been pretty accurate with her critiques this season. Anyway, Didi. I like her.

Tim Urban
"Sweet Love"
I suppose I don't need to tell you all that Ryan Seacrest throwing to commercial with the words "Coming up, Tim takes on Anita Baker" is almost exactly like hearing the Jason Vorhees CH-ch-ch-ch-ch AH-ah-ah-ah-ah sound effects. Despite an uncommonly strong vocal, I have to agree with Randy (!) with his "no swag" criticism. Um...yeah. I love that the judges have reached Sanjaya Saturation Point with Tim, where they're just like, "Nothing we say matters, that was awful, see you next week!"

Andrew Garcia
"Forever"
For as much as I've wished Andrew would just go away these last few weeks, it was somewhat heartwarming to see him finally make it back to where he was six weeks ago with a strong re-interpretation of Chris Brown's wedding-processional classic. Not sure what this back-at-one accomplishment will be worth in the long run, but it's undeniably nice to see him stop floundering for a moment.

Katie Stevens
"Chain of Fools" (Aretha Franklin +2)
BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA! Those words were flashing in my head last night like I was in The China Syndrome. No way should anyone who was thrilled to meet Usher at EPCOT try to tackle "Chain of Fools." It's not just the vocals -- Katie sounded pretty okay, all things considered. But there's an authority and a coolness to this sing, and no matter how many neck-snaps Katie attempted (there were many), it still looked like playing dress-up.

Lee Dewyze
"Treat Her Like a Lady"
Oh, my wonderful Lee, that was very good. Best he's sounded all season, and the judges recognized it as such. It's not surprising that Lee turned R&B week into "secret Dave Matthews Band week," but it really worked for him. Hooray!

Crystal Bowersox
"Midnight Train to Georgia"
Gosh, I just love Crystal so much. I recognize that she's going to turn some people off with her "I will now reveal my secret weapon: THE PIANO!" stuff and her back-and-forths with Simon, but for someone who is as assured a performer as she is, those moments only show me that when (not if) she makes a record, she's going to be someone with a solid sense of what she wants.

Aaron Kelly (performed last, +2)
"Ain't No Sunshine"
Aaron continues his tour of Idol Songs of the Past, and for what feels like the billionth week in a row, all I can say is that he delivered a solid and undeniably boring vocal.

Going Home? I am more frightened for Didi than ever before, though I wouldn't feel totally safe if I were Tim or Katie either. And if Casey or Siobahn were to become shocker Bottom 3 entrants, I wouldn't be totally shocked.

Can It, Ry-Ry

2010-03-30T18:31:00.000-07:00

Between doing everything but shoving slices of raw onion under Didi's eyelids to try to make her cry, and actually requesting that Andrew Garcia's mother start haranguing Simon in Spanish like she was some wacky abuela in a George Lopez movie, I have really had enough of Ryan Seacrest. A two-hour show just gives him way too much leeway to play the P.T. Barnum of chronic inauthenticity. I had just been thinking that Ryan was settling into a nice, un-showy rhythm too. Back to square one, I guess.

Siobhambies? Siobhambies?

2010-03-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

Between the glass-blowing, the Edward Gorey tattoo and the friends who show up to the studio covered in blood, I think we've got our first genuine art nerd ever to crash this little monkey race. Seeing as how she's from Massachusetts, I giddily await her finale duet with Amanda Palmer.

Week 5 Results/Standings

2010-03-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

See ya, Paige Miles! Tim Urban was Bottom Two (-3 pts). Katie Stevens was Bottom Three (-2 pts). The top of the pool continues to crunch in on itself. Whoever lasts longer between Katie and Andrew could end up being some high drama, pool-wise.

Standings to Date:

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 91
Brian Corridan -- 88
Stephen -- 84

Adam -- 83
Dena -- 83
Katie -- 82
Linda -- 82
Roger -- 81
Jonah -- 81
Maria -- 81
Penni -- 80
Brian H. #1 -- 80
Kyle -- 80

Andrew -- 79
Joe -- 78
Denise -- 77
Brian H. #2 -- 75
Brian Cool -- 70
D'Jonnaisse (Joe's #2) -- 70

Megan -- 67
Rick -- 67
Kristi -- 66
Eliza -- 63
Tracie -- 62
Pat -- 61
Vance -- 60

DeAnn -- 59
Caitlin -- 55
David -- 54
Mark -- 54
Aaron -- 54
Marc -- 54
Emily -- 52

Sarah -- 44
Kristeen -- 41
John -- 20

Top 11 Performances/Points

2010-03-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

Hey folks. I recapped last night's (abysmal) episode for TWoP, so head on over there if you want to get caught up on what went down under the experienced and watchful eye of Miley Cyrus.

Also, here are the (unfortunately meager) bonus points earned last night:

Lee Dewyze (+1, sang first)
Siobahn Magnus (+2, sang last)
Stevie Wonder (+2, "Superstition")

Week 4 Results/Standings

2010-03-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'm off-site this week, so really super quick points update. Lacey went home, as Marc predicted, rather than Paige, as I'd have preferred. Tim was also Bottom Three. I fast-forwarded through eight hours of Seacrest time-wasting to get to the elimination.

Bonus Points:
Michael: +1 sang first
Crystal: +2 sang last
Paige: -3 bottom two
Tim: -2 bottom three

The Rolling Stones: +5 theme week

Standings:

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 78
Adam -- 73
Brian Corridan - 73

Katie -- 69
Dena -- 68
Stephen -- 67
Linda -- 67
Penni -- 66
Andrew -- 66
Brian H. -- 65
Kyle -- 65

Roger -- 64
Jonah -- 64
Marian -- 64
Brian H. #2 -- 63
Joe -- 63
Denise -- 62
Brian -- 60

D'Jonnaise (Joe's #2) -- 57
Kristi -- 56
Megan -- 55
Rick -- 54
Eliza -- 53
DeAnn -- 51
Pat -- 51
Tracie -- 50

Vance -- 48
David -- 46
Caitlin -- 45
Mark -- 44
Emily -- 43
Aaron -- 42
Marc -- 42
Sarah -- 39
Kristeen -- 36
John -- 20

Top 12 Performances

2010-03-17T04:29:00.000-07:00

All things considered, Rolling Stones night was a great deal better than I'd feared it would be. This is still far from the strongest Top 12 ever, but the good ones all showed up last night, and some of the not-so-good ones gave their best performances so far. In order of my preference:

Didi Benami
"Play with Fire"
I'll admit, I was worried to hear she was singing something so low-key, but this performance gave me goosebumps. I wouldn't have expected that Didi could convey darkness or intensity with any kind of honesty, but I think she did. I could chop those swaying hands right off, but otherwise, I loved this.

Crystal Bowersox (+2, sang last)
"You Can't Always Get What You Want"
Hey, Tim Urban, THAT is how you sell a Stones song as a party jam. All the usual praises of Crystal apply: confident, assured, gorgeously sung. And I do think the judges were trying to combat voter complacency with their critiques, which also makes me happy, because I need Crystal to stick around for a long time.

Siobahn Magnus
You know, I guess I can't argue if you say that Siobahn is undisciplined and that nuclear wail was nothing more than a showy scream. But on the other hand: don't care. I could not love Siobahn more if she danced with the devil and appeared to Goody Stevens and Goody Miles and tormented them with needles. I like that she's not running from her own weirdness, and I like that Simon has finally caught on to that. Not sure how far it'll carry her with the voters, but she's got me.

Katie Stevens
"Wild Horses"
I haven't had any use for Katie this season, but I really felt like she pulled together her best performance this week, arguably when she needed it the most. Clear, confident vocals and a largely un-smiley delivery managed to override that Sweet Sixteen dress and let her crawl her way to the top of the heap of contestants who shouldn't have made it out of last week.

Casey James
"It's All Over Now"
Certainly good enough to ensure he'll be around next week, and pretty much exactly in his wheelhouse. But the one-handed guitar-playing is two giant steps too far in the "I don't give a shit" direction; and this week, I finally realized who he reminds me of sometimes, and that person is Brett Butler. So...

Lee Dewyze
"Beast of Burden"
Of note, the best cover version of this I've heard was performed by Joan Osborne and Tony Rich on some VH1 concert or another. Lee's snoozy, repetitive version was not nearly up to that standard. His mumbly affectation tripped him up on at least a couple occasions. Vocally, it's the best Lee's been all season, but the same-iness of the performance kept it pretty pedestrian, overall. This is a "safe" song, per Simon, but only if you don't put enough attitude into it. Lee didn't.

Lacey Brown
"Ruby Tuesday"
It's a wonderful song -- one of my favorites from the Stones -- but I was of the firm belief that nobody should choose it. The melody's too choppy, it doesn't build -- not a good fit for this show. Lacey suffered from the same pacing issues as Mike did, but the parts where she really let herself go, rare as they were, were lovely. Bottom-tier, for sure, but not the worst thing.

Michael Lynche (+1, sang first)
"Miss You"
The arrangement had a bit of a "neither here nor there" feel to it, and unlike the last two weeks, Big Mike failed to entirely hide his vocal limitations. This one sounded worse after hearing the full night's worth of good performances.

Aaron Kelly
"Angie"
Snooze! Vocally, this was a big improvement from last week's abomination, and that should be enough to keep him around. On a more important note: Ellen called out their similar haircuts! You guys, I TOLD you Aaron had Lesbian Face!

Andrew Garcia
"Gimmie Shelter"
God DAMN it! Such a good song, Scorsese-bred overexposure notwithstanding, and it had to be wasted on circling-the-drain Andrew, whose rapid unraveling on this show continues to be shocking. On, like, a Sundance Head level. The over-enunciation, the forced intensity, the scraping of his limits on the big notes he built the performance around -- all of it embarrassingly amateur.

Paige Miles
"Honky Tonk Women"
You've all heard me whine about my pet peeve of people who switch gender designations in songs so it conforms to heteronormative standards (i.e. God forbid if people think I'm a big lez, so I'll be singing "Me and Mr. Jones"). But Paige's brutal hacking of the chorus to this song was perhaps the most egregious example of that I've ever seen. Just sing about goddamn Honky Tonk Women, Paige. I promise Ellen won't try to marry you. Besides all that, while the verses were pretty good, Paige's vocal fell apart in the chorus, as her oversinging really started to show.

Tim Urban
"Under My Thumb"
So, yeah, you can't really sell this song as as Jason Mraz-y party jam. And certainly TIM can't sell this as a Mraz-y party jam. Uncomfortable and not good all around. Also, Tim gets the "'A' for effort" treatment from the judges, but Todrick couldn't? That seems less than fair.

Going Home: I worry about Didi, because she sang second. Otherwise, I'd say Tim, Lacey, Andrew, and (hopefully) Paige are all vulnerable.
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And I say this as someone who's officially on the record as not particularly liking the Rolling Stones

2010-03-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

I thought that Tim Urban singing a song about emotionally abusing your woman until she bows to your will as though it were the soundtrack to Jack Johnson's Sandal Party Live From Kawai was just about the most wrongheaded thing I could imagine.

Then came Paige's gender-reclaimed version of "Honky Tonk Women." There isn't a language on Earth that has a version of "no" strong enough for that one.

And yet, it'll be Lacey going home tomorrow. How is that justice?

Dear The Idiots They Let Into the Audience at "American Idol":

2010-03-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

Please fucking stop swaying your arms, irrespective of any beat or melody, particularly when Didi is trying to darken up her image with "Play with Fire." You're the absolute worst.

It's a Gas, Gas, Gas?

2010-03-12T07:34:00.000-08:00

I got us started in the last post, planting the seed of a Katie Stevens "Mother's Little Helper" performance (what better way to bust out of the cutesy-girlie box than to evoke prescription pill abuse?). So with next week's Rolling Stones theme bearing down on us, I figured we could have some fun picking out songs for the Top 12 to sing. Best-case scenarios, worst-case scenarios, have at it.

I'll get us started: I would run over Ellen Degeneres herself to hear Siobahn Magnus sing "Gimmie Shelter." ESPECIALLY the "rape! murder!" part.

P.S. Here's the list of the 50 songs cleared for usage on Idol.

Week 3 Results/Standings

2010-03-11T19:28:00.000-08:00

So! Once again I was 3/4 on predicting the eliminated Idols. The fact that Katelyn Epperly was one of the eliminatees was bad enough (yes, she was bad this week, but she was pretty great the previous two), but to have to see awful Paige advance at her expense? Oof.

Meanwhile, I hope you Lilly Scott haters are happy. You've doomed us all to at least one more week of Katie Stevens.

As for poor Alex Lambert, to the last, he was the most genuine fool on this season, down to his utter inability to control his tears after he was eliminated. After three weeks and sixty performances, that was the most clearly conveyed emotion of the season.

The fact that Katie stuck around pretty much defines the current standings. Six of the top seven poolies have Katie on their team, and they'd best start praying she can deliver a world-beating "Mother's Little Helper" next week.

Standings!

Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 60
Adam -- 59
Brian Corridan -- 58

Katie -- 53
Brian H. -- 51
Penni -- 51
Stephen -- 50
Linda -- 50

Roger -- 49
Andrew -- 49
Brian Cool -- 48
Brian Herrera -- 48
Kyle -- 48
Jonah -- 48
Maria -- 48
Denise -- 47
D'Jonnaise (Joe's #2) -- 47
Dena -- 46
Joe -- 46
Kristi -- 46

Rick -- 44
Eliza -- 43
Megan -- 43
DeAnn -- 43
Pat -- 41
Tracie -- 38
Vance -- 37
Emily -- 35

David -- 34
Mark -- 34
Sarah -- 34
Caitlin -- 33
Aaron -- 32
Marc -- 32
Kristeen -- 29
John -- 20

Top 16 Performances: The Guys

2010-03-11T05:53:00.001-08:00

I don't have nearly as much to say about the guys as I did about the girls. And unless you were canny enough to pick Owl City as one of your musical artists, there weren't any bonus points to hand out beyond first/last performers. So just quickly, I'm going to run through last night's performances, from the best to the worst.

Michael Lynche (sang last +2)
"This Woman's Work" (Maxwell)
Big Mike has finally found his wheelhouse, and within those parameters, he's killing it. He was always going to make Top 12 anyway; it's heartening to see he'll be doing so based on two straight great performances. I do wonder if he's for real as far as a possible winner of the show, but for now, he's in the zone.

Casey James
"You'll Think of Me" (Keith Urban)
After a week in Gavin DeGraw purgatory, Casey returned to making canny song choices that will appeal to exactly who he needs to appeal to. As a bonus, this is the best he's sounded in all three semifinal weeks.

Lee Dewyze (sang first +1)
"Fireflies" (Owl City)
And no, it isn't just because I actually spoke the words "Lee Dewyze, I would so make out with you" last night that I think he did well. He's also a really good singer guy.

Tim Urban
"Hallelujah"
Yes, it's completely pointless to sing a song this overexposed. But in his very limited range, Tim didn't sound awful, which automatically makes it the best thing he's done thus far. It's not world-beating singing, but it did the job; and if he's looking to get a girl into bed and, for some insane reason, taking his shirt off doesn't do the trick, singing this song just might. Witness Ellen's hug-tervention. The woman's a lesbian, but she's not dead.

Todrick Hall
"Somebody to Love"
Well, at least Todrick managed not to get yelled at for a crappy re-imagining again. Now he's just a very limited singer performing a song that many other contestants on this show have performed and better. Good news!

Alex Lambert
"Trouble"
Snooze. I still love Alex and all his diamond-in-the-roughness, but this was a definite step backwards from last week.

Andrew Garcia
"Genie in a Bottle"
God bless him for dipping into the Aguilera songbook, but this was AWFUL. Desperate and nasally and poorly paced. I want to like him again, but I'm worried he's become the Sundance/Sligh of this season.

Aaron Kelly
"I'm Already There"
First of all, when you've chosen a song that was also chosen in Season 4 by my beloved but poor-decision-making Anthony Fedorov, you know you've gone astray. Aaron can still hit the bigger, sustained notes, but everything else was strained, garbled messiness. The good news for him is that this is the first out-and-out bad performance he's had, so he may have the fanbase to keep him around.

Going home? Todrick, definitely. After him? I wouldn't feel safe unless my name was Mike, Casey, or Lee. And while an Andrew ouster wouldn't shock me, I think here is where the Tim and Alex fanbases get complacent and we lose ... Alex.

Top 16 Performances: The Girls

2010-03-10T10:40:00.000-08:00

Katie Stevens (performed first +1)
"Breakaway"
I do agree that this was the right kind of song choice for Katie, she just didn't sing it very well. She was sharp (? I actually am not the foremost authority on sharp/flat, but I refuse to say "pitchy"; I just refuse) and just altogether unpleasant sounding, frankly ruining one of Randy Jackson's "favorite songs ever written in the modern times of today." Quite right. I know Katie has her fans/supporters around these parts, but I'm really hoping this was bad enough to get her eliminated.

Siobahn Magnus
"House of the Rising Sun"
I rolled my eyes at the song choice, as it's become shorthand on this show for "white girl trying to glom onto N'awlins street cred," but Siobahn shut me up right quick with what was her best performance to date, Simon be damned. The song ended up fitting her funereal personality (in a good way!), and I could listen to her sing those low notes forever. Simon, hilariously, slammed her performance for being too weird. He then criticized Crystal's performance for being too diabetic. (No, that's a lie, Simon has never criticized Crystal for anything.)

Lacey Brown
"The Story"
I've been the guy quietly trying to advance the notion that Lacey's performances, while not polished at all, possess an intriguing vocal quality. So I was happy to see she'd pulled it together and brought her ReJewel Spektor voice to bear on one of my favorite songs. I love this Brandi Carlile song so much, in fact, that I was immediately crestfallen that it wasn't chosen by Crystal, but to my surprise, Lacey did quite well with it. Maybe not exciting enough to vault her ahead of two of the remaining girls (especially now that sympathy votes won't be as easy to come by now that she's been praised), but if she gets voted out, it's a good note to go out on.

Katelyn Epperly
"I Feel the Earth Move"
For someone who had exceeded my expectations two weeks running, this performance felt too insubstantial, and I worry it might lead to her ouster. She lost that lovely, deep tone that I like and replaced it with a style I can only describe as "Lite." It wasn't wasn't enough, to quote Ellen.

Didi Benami
"Rhiannon" (Fleetwood Mac +2)
Two things right off the bat: the song choice (why Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks isn't covered more on this show is a bit of a mystery; what I wouldn't give for some "Songbird" up in here) and the fact that Didi finally brought out her guitar. The judges, who clearly owed her after two weeks of excessive nitpickery, so I'll forgive the slight overcorrection (it wasn't the best of the whole season, but it was pretty great). I do wonder if Didi -- or indeed any of these kids -- know what made Stevie's "Rhiannon" so awesome to begin with. I liked the slow, strummy version of the song fine, but nothing beats watching an old clip of Stevie wilding out.

Paige Miles
"Smile"
Man, I hate having to take issue with Ellen Degeneres, but the whole thing about "The song's called 'Smile' so you should be happier" thing was both dumb and pointless. The problem wasn't Paige's lack of a matchy-matchy smile. The problem was in both her bleating vocal and (as Simon and Randy noted) the abhorrent Muzak arrangement. Which is not her fault, or at least not ALL her fault. But it's not like the vocal was all that good.

Crystal Bowersox
"Gimmie One Reason"
I was crestfallen at the pedestrian song choice, but Crystal -- ash she's done every time so far -- won me over despite my skepticism. She did a LOT with that song, making it her own (sorry) without needing to overhaul (or "Todrick") it. In a way, hearing the hundred little small things Crystal did to make that performance a special won was thrilling. I know she's the "Chosen One" and all, but who the hell else am I gonna support?

Lilly Scott (performed last +2)
"I Fall to Pieces"
While I'm a bit surprised at how divisive Lilly has become this season, I started to see it once that mandolin came into view. I still like her -- she's like a more put-together Lacey Brown -- but I get it.

Going Home: It's suuuper tough to call this week. Two out of eight are leaving, which means the odds are steep for almost everyone. I think Paige is done. Leaving with her ... my heart says Katie, my head says Katelyn, Lacey's certainly not safe, and it damn well better not be Siobahn or Didi.
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Fauxthenticity

2010-03-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to put my finger on what's bugging me about this season, and I'm figuring it out: The frontrunners -- those whose performances everyone was anticipating, at least as of two weeks ago -- all exude varying degrees of I'm Too Good For This-itis.

There's an undercurrent of artistic slumming going on with Casey James (who is both I Don't Even Own A TV Guy and My Other Persona Is Busy Playing At Antone's Guy), Crystal Bowersox (whom I like, but who looks deeply embarrassed not to be rocking out on Library Mall in Madison, the way REAL artists do), Todrick Hall (who CAN'T BELIEVE your mind isn't already blown by the arrangements he's throwing down), Lee Dewyze (who's already rehearsing the extent to which he's gonna totally distance himself from all this when it's over), and twee, insufferable poseur Lilly Scott (who couldn't be more ill-served by the judges' clueless slobbering over her bullshit affectations). Even Andrew Garcia, who at least doesn't seem to be appearing on American Idol against his will, has an I'm Here To Break The Mold vibe about him.

Strangely enough, it reminds me of when Dennis Miller was added to the Monday Night Football lineup. My pal Rob Siegel, who once picked Amy Krebs in this very pool, was completely appalled with the idea from the second Miller was announced. His rationale was that viewers may enjoy holding football at arm's length and spouting wisecracks at the TV, but the fun of that comes from watching something that takes itself utterly life-and-death seriously. His complaint boiled down to, "I can supply my own sarcastic comments, thanks."

That's also true of American Idol: You can't be above American Idol, pumpkin, because you auditioned to be there. I'm getting a kick out of watching Crystal and Casey wish they could burst into flames during group sing-alongs of "I've Got A Feeling," but I'd enjoy the show so much more if so many people weren't trying to have it both ways. It should matter to the participants, you know? I want tears! I want high stakes! I want meltdowns, dashed dreams, shattered egos, and broken hearts!

In short: GO, AARON KELLY! And not just because you're my only hope in this godforsaken pool.

Top 20 Results/Standings/Update

2010-03-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, sorry there was no update/recap for Wednesday night's women's performances. I was busy giving myself meat poisoning at Dallas BQ on Wednesday, then rocking Survivor with two of your fellow poolies. So while I was out, Jermaine, John, Haeley, and Michelle were all given the boot. Haeley was the only one who surprised me, and since she gave the worst vocal of the four (the worst vocal rendition of "The Climb" since Miley was on last year), it wasn't that shocking.

Here's how the bonus points shook out this week:

Michael, Crystal: +1 for singing first
Lee, Siobahn: +2 for singing last

James Brown: +2 ("It's a Man's Man's Man's World")
John Mayer: +2 ("Gravity")
Aretha Franklin: +2 ("Think")

And here on the standings after Week 2:

Brian Corridan -- 42
Tequila (Mark's #2) -- 42
Adam -- 41
Brian H. #2 -- 41

Kristi -- 35
Linda -- 35
Katie -- 35
Stephen -- 35
D'jonnaise (Joe's #2) -- 34
Penni -- 34
Roger -- 34

Eliza -- 33
Brian Cool -- 33
Andrew --33
Brian H. -- 33
Kyle --33
Rick -- 33
DeAnn -- 32
Denise -- 32

Pat -- 31
Dena -- 31
Joe -- 31
Jonah -- 31
Marian -- 31
Megan -- 31

Tracie -- 28
Sarah -- 27
Emily -- 25
Vance -- 25
Kristeen -- 24
Mark -- 24

Caitlin -- 23
David -- 23
Aaron -- 22
Marc -- 22
John -- 15

Top 20 Performances: The Guys

2010-03-03T04:31:00.000-08:00

"Improvement" seemed to be the name of the game -- it would've been tough for the guys to not do better than their collective showing last week. Randy was still grumpy about re-arranging songs, and Ellen's still a shade too nice (with one semi-glorious exception), and Kara's still all over the map (that map being The Road to Paula-ville). And still no one has busted out any Michael Jackson. Grr.

Michael Lynche (performed first +1)
"It's a Man's Man's Man's World" (James Brown +2)
Michael was able to find a song that disguised his vocal limitations and allowed his stage presence and personality to carry him through. I didn't find it as standing-O worthy as Randy and the other judges did, but after seeing the full slate of guys, Michael was clearly in the top 10. It wasn't a vocal clinic, but it was a successful performance.

John Park
"Gravity" (John Mayer +2)
Is this two sit-down performances in a row for John, or am I misremembering last week? Anyway, this vocal was leaps and bounds better than last week (as improvements go, only Alex came farther). My feeling is that with the boys having broken themselves down to zero last week, this kind of a performance -- on pitch, pretty sounding -- is a victory. Artistry can come next. But Simon thinks John was forgettable enough to get voted off, and I wonder if he isn't right. The #2 performance slot is death, as we know, and by the end of the night, I had forgotten him. Still, I can't help but wonder if when Simon says he "struggles with the believability" of John as a pop star, it's because Simon can't envision an Asian guy as a pop star?

Casey James
"I Don't Wanna Be"
I loved how even Ryan was like "...that song?" Because seriously. And as impossible as it is to sound distinctive on this song, Casey added some weak singing and awkward stage presence to the mix. Again, Casey's Casey -- the haters will hate and the lovers will love, and this won't really change any minds. But his affect was showing its seams this week; not my favorite performance of hers.

Alex Lambert
"Everybody Knows"
John Legend is an interesting choice, but aside from a poorly chosen final note, Alex sounded so much better than last week. He really does have a good quality to his voice, when it's in tune. I have to say, I have found myself rooting for the kid every bit as much as the judges are. I don't think we've ever seen a contestant like this before. This isn't a Sanjaya or a Covais, who were kind of hopeless, and Simon hated them. It's easy to see the diamond inside the piece of coal inside Alex, and when was the last time you saw Simon express this kind of hopeful optimism at a struggling kid?

Todrick Hall
"What's Love Got to Do With It?"
I'm glad Todrick wasn't scared off of re-arranging songs after last week, but after this week I can't imagine he won't be. Which is kind of sucky of Randy to beat down Todrick's creative impulses like that. But it's also two weeks straight of Todrick not sounding all that good. And for God's sake, people. STOP TRYING FALSETTOS YOU CAN'T HIT! Lordy.

Jermaine Sellers
"What's Going On?"
Okay, Jermaine's a big ol' weirdo, huh? With the onesie and the weird compulsive talking? I'd started to feel bad for him and his over-chattiness with the judges (kind of like I often did with Brooke White), but then he had to start talking about how he knows God. Maybe God can help him out with his terrible song choices and snoozer performances.

Andrew Garcia
"You Give Me Something"
Not the most exciting performance, but it was a very good vocal. He needs to be more dynamic in the weeks ahead, but at this stage, he's clearly among the best 2-3 male performers, easy.

Aaron Kelly
"My Girl"
Big ol' SNOOZE of a song choice, and one that reminds me of the stuff that would've gotten by in the first 4-5 seasons. Because Aaron did sing it well, even if the vibrato was large and in charge this week. But seriously, what is with these Archuleta types singing from Grandpa's record collection? It could not sound more theme-parky. Still, I like Aaron, his instrument is strong, and as eager to please as he is, he couldn't bring himself to say he liked Justin Bieber.

Tim Urban
"Come On Get High"
Well, on the bright side, it's good to see Tim got the message about working his best attributes and decided to slut it up for us in that short-sleeved tee. But the performances -- while yes, Simon, way better than last week's utter abomination -- was super amateur, in that over-enunciated way amateurs get. Ellen's "You should be an actor" critique was simultaneously excellent advice and the meanest she's ever been. I Approve.

Lee Dewyze (sang last, +2)
"Lips of an Angel"
Hinder?? Jesus, Lee, help a guy out here. I like you! And it's gonna be hard enough doing that in the face of the NPR crew around here without you serving it up on a platter to them by singing Hinder songs. I don't understand -- just sing something good! You totally can!

Going Home? My guesses would be John and Jermaine, but, again, the field seems wide open.

Extremely Relevant Link

2010-02-27T16:12:00.000-08:00

Heavens to Betsy. Could someone teach Tim Urban how to sing before Wednesday?

Top 24 Results/Standings

2010-02-27T08:45:00.000-08:00

So! Looks like I won't have Tyler Grady to kick around any more. Nor will Joe Munoz have to endure Blogger's lack of respect for his tilde. And Ashley Rodriguez won't have to think of any more doppelgangers in the music industry to cover. But perhaps most shocking of all, Janell Wheeler got bounced. That, in and of itself, wasn't too shocking. Her performance was lackluster and she couldn't have expected to get away with being pretty, blonde, and perky for very long. But Janell's ouster completely blows the Heart Boon out of the water. That boon had kept even the most unworthy contestants -- Melissa McGhee, Kady Malloy, Ramiele Malubay -- safe, provided they sang a Heart song. I guess rules just don't apply anywhere anymore.

Now, after a results show that threw 2 more points to Beatles pickers (via Kris Allen's Haiti-inspired cover of "Let It Be"), we've got our first-week standings. At this points, it's Team Beatles versus everyone else, but it's early. Back in Season 7, we got two straight weeks of Beatles Night, and the winner that year was a non-Beatle picker. Still, though, can we get some awful Taylor Swift songs up in here soon??

Bonus points:
Andrew +2 (sang last)
Katie +2 (sang last)
Todrick +1 (sang first)
Paige +1 (sang first)
The Beatles +8 (4 songs)
Fleetwood Mac +2
Alicia Keys +2
Rascal Flatts +2

I should note, for the newcomers, that we don't subtract points for Bottom 3/Bottom 2 unless Ryan explicitly says so. This week, as is usually the case before Top 12, the show kept it coy/misleading in that regard. In other words, don't believe Didi and Katie were anywhere close to going home unless Ryan says so.

Anyway, here come the standings, led by Brian Corridan, who continues his streak of hot starts out of the gate. Nine poolies lost contestants this week.

Brian Corridan -- 27
Adam -- 25
Tequila (Mark #2) -- 25
Brian H. #2 -- 23
Eliza -- 23
Kristi -- 20

Linda -- 19
Brian Cool -- 18
Kristeen -- 18
Andrew -- 17
Brian H. -- 17
Denise -- 17
D'jonnaise (Joe #2) -- 17
Katie -- 17
Kyle -- 17
Penni -- 17
Roger -- 17
Stephen -- 17
Tracie -- 17

Pat -- 16
Rick -- 16
DeAnn -- 15
Dena -- 15
Emily -- 15
Joe -- 15
Jonah -- 15
Maria -- 15
Megan -- 15
Sarah -- 15

Mark -- 14
Vance -- 14
Aaron -- 12
Caitlin -- 12
Marc -- 12
David -- 12
John -- 10

Top 24 Men: The Performances

2010-02-25T15:51:00.000-08:00

Todrick Hall - "Since U Been Gone" (sang first, +1)
Okay, I have to give him points for guts here; clearly this was a re-arrangement he thought up himself, this Bobby-Browning of "Since U Been Gone." He made a statement, that re-arrangement isn't just for the guitar boys, and that deserves a tip of the hat. But boy, did that not sound good.

Aaron Kelly - "Here Comes Goodbye" (Rascal Flatts +2)
The stage presence needs a LOT of work, but this is a decent niche for Aaron, and he certainly hit his big note. On the Boy Singer scale, he's well ahead of Kevin Covais but behind David Archuleta.

Jermaine Sellers - "Get Here"
And once again, everybody who didn't pick Oleta Adams as their artist lives in regret. Holy crap, that was screechy! Man alive. And while I appreciated that Jermaine threw in fewer gratuitous runs than he usually does. And I certainly appreciated the Tony Rich-style hat. But that was some severe awfulness, and it was only the awfulness to come that makes me think Jermaine might survive the week.

Tim Urban - "Apologize"
You're welcome, Jermaine, because that further awfulness started right here. Tim Urban seems like a nice guy, cute as a button, all that. But we've seen him a few times throughout this season, and I'll posit that he hasn't been good even once. This was certainly no different. How do you sing this song if you have a shitty falsetto? HOW??

Joe Munoz - "You and I"
(A thousand apologies, I can't make the tilde happen on Blogger.) Faint props for at least choosing a Jason Mraz song that hasn't been beaten into the ground by this show. And Joe sang it solidly okay. But is this not so the typical Previously Unseen Guy performance that isn't nearly enough to overcome is heretofore invisibility?

Tyler Grady - "American Woman"
Here we fucking go. Jesus. I am not equipped to handle any bit of Tyler Grady. And honestly, for such a crazy ROCKER, this was a strangely anemic performance. One that ended before it ever felt like he'd properly ramped up. Thank you, Simon, for the "Pretend to Be a Rock Star school" line, because YES. Though, in Tyler's defense, I will say Kara's got balls to chastize Tyler for wallowing in the same '70s rock style she could not shut up about last week.

Lee Dewyze - "Chasing Cars"
Aw, so Lee's gonna be our Lockjaw Guy for the season, then? Whatever, I instinctively like him, and this song was a nice idea that he carried off decently well, but hit some notes, guy! I am glad Simon refuted Randy's "Be a hard-rocking King of Leon" silliness.

John Park - "God Bless the Child"
Once again, dig how on the ball I am. I said: "These standards are such non-starters for me. What does it even prove, ESPECIALLY if you don't sing it all that well?" And there was Simon, calling the whole thing "pointless." Yes. And I love John Park. And I'm glad he's committed to making a go of it with Shania, on a personal level. But he really overdid it with that beautiful bottom end of his. The voice is strong, it was just not well deployed.

Michael Lynche - "This Love"
The whiplash as I mentally career from so-skinny-he-barely-exists Adam Levine to the heft of Big Mike is severe. But as limited as this performance was (and I think Mike is generally a limited singer), so many people were worse, and he's got personality for days. He'll be fine.

Alex Lambert - "Wonderful World"
Oh, poor thing. He's gone, right? I'll say that I love him for still wanting to stick it to Mary Powers. And he let Ellen unleash that weird, affectionate, and oddly correct banana metaphor about him (not to be confused with the banana metaphors Kara would be throwing during Casey's performance). But this was really terrible.

Casey James - "Heaven"
You know, Kara (and Randy, and Simon, and Ryan) is really fucking with my ability to enjoy Casey James. And I do enjoy Casey James. On a night of sad, flailing performances, Casey knew exactly what he wanted to do, picked the right song, and played his cards perfectly. Calculating? Absolutely. But I'll take it, at this stage. And, sorry, Bryan Adams's "Heaven" hits me right in the center of my cheese-filled heart. Casey's gonna be the divisive one this season, for sure. Just try to budge anyone on either side of the Casey divide. But I like him.

Andrew Garcia - "Sugar, We're Going Down" (sang last, +2)
Andrew's lesson is similar to Todrick's: the mere fact of rearranging a song is not what makes it good. It has to be rearranged well. This wasn't awful, and I like Fall Out Boy fine for what they are. But, again, points for nerve. Even if Randy was kind of right (!) in calling the performance "tryhard."

Going Home? Yikes, so many possibilities! Is it too simple to just say Alex and Tim? They're certainly going to end up splitting each other's votes (and those votes are Aaron Kelly's to begin with). Wouldn't rule out Joe, Jermaine, or John (sad day for my brothers in "J"), but I'll go an pick a floppy-haired massacre tonight.

Top 24 Women: The Performances

2010-02-23T19:24:00.000-08:00

Paige Miles - "All Right Now" (sang first, +1)
What's with this weird tendency for the first song of the season to be some weird '70s classic rock non-entity? Has this been a thing or am I just remembering the year "Free Ride" was the first song? Anyway, this is Paige, who we have never seen before. Kara seems determined to imbue her with "soul" for reasons that are probably less offensive and more because it's Kara and she's kind of a dingbat. Me, I think Paige was okay -- reminiscent of Allison Iraheta's vocal style, if absent the power and the weirdo ball-of-fire stage presence -- but nowhere near the ballpark of where the judges said she was. The best voice of the girls, Simon? Really?

Ashley Rodriguez - "Happy"
So she sang Jordin Sparks (the Simon Cowell-reviled "Battlefield") in Hollywood, and now a Leona Lewis song. Is the plan to just keep covering songs by artists whom Ashley resembles? Anyway, bum notes galore, but the last one sounded really pretty. Is this a matter of not picking a song that fits the things her voice does well? Because I can't imagine she can afford another performance that spotty.

Janell Wheeler - "What About Love?"
You guys, NO ONE picked Heart as their musical artist. I feel like we all dropped the ball on that one. Janell's performance was kind of the definition of "karaoke," at least as I find it on this show. To borrow a semi-frequent critique from So You Think You Can Dance?, Janell sang above the song rather than down in it. She didn't sound terrible, but it was in no way a performance that could stand on its own. That said, no one has gone home after singing a Heart song yet, including far worse performances than this one.

Lilly Scott - "Fixing a Hole" (The Beatles +2)
Jotting down my notes, I scribbled "this is what the judges have been talking about re: song choice." And then Ellen said exactly that! Ellen Degeneres! And me! Better than Facebook friends! Anyway, I really dug this performance and am suddenly quite bullish on Lilly's prospects on the show. She's not the most consistently perfect vocalist, but she most certainly put her stamp on the song. I only worry about the judges feeding into the indie/busker/cool-song-choice-girl thing, which is the one area where Lilly might veer into annoying.

Katelyn Epperly - "Oh Darlin'" (Beatles +2)
I remember the fact that I really liked Katelyn's audition more than I actually remember the audition. And nothing I saw of her in Hollywood stands out to me either. But I have to say, I really liked her performance here. It feels like she's got that Duffy/Adele tone that Simon will end up complaining about (but which I really like), but she also throws in some big, deep notes along with it. The styling is ... a problem, on that Kara and I agree. Like a Virgin Madonna combined with "Tell me about it...stud" Olivia Newton-John combined with Gilly is not a great look on anyone.

Haeley Vaughn - "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" (The Beatles +2)
First of all, fuck you, Beatles-pickers. Second of all, this wasn't great, and it's nowhere near the ballpark of what I'd like to listen to. That said, I don't think it was a complete failure, and I still think she's the perfect storm of a kid-that-lasts-too-long contestant, pulling from the Paris Bennett, Kellie Pickler, AND Archuleta/Sanjaya (depending on how you view her talent) demographics. She's staying.

Lacey Brown - "Landslide" (Fleetwood Mac +2)
Objectively, I can totally understand how this would be considered the worst of the night, and at best it qualifies for "hot mess." But you guys? Something is wrong with me, because that performance both fascinated and compelled me. Maybe it was car-wreck curiosity for her voice, which sits at the exact midpoint between Regina Spektor and Jewel. Or the fact that her face is oh so very crazy. She loses a bunch of points for answering the judges' "We didn't like that" with "But I love this song," and she will probably be eliminated tonight and cast in the pile of Idol weirdos who I liked, along with that pale kid with the hair. But I gotta be honest: I'd listen to that again.

Michelle Delamor - "Fallin'" (Alicia Keys +2)
WHOOOOOOO? Sorry to be so glib, but at least Paige (who we saw the same amount of zero times that we saw Michelle, before tonight) gave a performance worth discussing on its merits. Michelle was straight forgettable, and while she sang decently, I would not be at all surprised to see her eliminated.

Didi Benami - "The Way I Am"
Points for originality on the Ingrid Michaelson song, I suppose, and I certainly spent fifteen long minutes trying to find the words to describe that rainbow-colored afghan-cape she was wearing (I settled on "braided throw-rug you'd find at an indoor-outdoor cafe in Tucson, AZ, with arm-holes"). But the bottom line is, I like how this girl sings a song. She does have the Brooke White thing ... well, she has many of the Brooke White things, but among them is that she needs to have an instrument in her hands always or else she looks a bit lost, but her voice was wonderful. As to the judges pooh-poohing, I have to say: it's not Didi's fault if Simon thinks they cast too many similar-sounding strummy girls. I totally called that Simon would call the performance "indulgent," though. It's his code for "I don't know that song."

Siobahn Magnus - "Wicked Game"
I had almost the same reaction to this as I did to Lacey Brown, only without the guilt. What a totally bizarre and weird performance! Except, bonus, I also kind of love her voice. Those low notes are not easy, and Siobahn nailed 'em, so much so that I need to invite her over to help me figure out the low notes on Karaoke Revolution. Roommate Mark said she was rocking some "Paula Cole Realness" and I cannot disagree. Of course, Randy Jackson wants belters and nothing but, so he hated it.

Crystal Bowersox - "Hand in My Pocket"
I love Alanis and all, but "Hand in My Pocket" is a huge exception. But Crystal made me like it anyway. I thought her scaled-down makeover (lip-gloss! eyeshadow! some tooth-whitening!) was adorable, as is her "Mama needs a paycheck" ethos. Of all the women tonight, she's the one with the emotional pull.

Katie Stevens - "Feeling Good"
Damn it, Katie, do NOT make me have to go into my whole spiel about how much I hate the Michael Buble version of this usually-awesome song AGAIN. Ugh. Anyway, why don't I like this girl? She's giving me Secret Life of the American Teen vibes, so maybe that's it. I love that she got called "pageanty" in Week 1. She's in it for at least the semi-long haul, but I can't say I'm greatly looking forward to it.

Going Home? My guesses are Lacy (awful to everyone's ears but mine...and even then I kinda agree) and Ashley (#2 death slot, plus terrible), but I wouldn't rule out Michelle.

Back hopefully tonight or tomorrow with a write-up of the guys!

Idol Pool 2010: The Field

2010-02-23T18:08:00.000-08:00

Aaron Cameron: Andrew Garcia, Didi Benami, Ashley Rodriguez (Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston)
Adam Grosswirth: Katie Stevens, Michael Lynche, Tim Urban (The Beatles, Michael Jackson)
Andrew Byrne: Katie Stevens, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox (Taylor Swift, Janet Jackson)
Brian Cool: Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Paige Miles (Carrie Underwood, Michael Jackson)
Brian Corridan: Andrew Garcia, Didi Benami, Katie Stevens (Stevie Wonder, The Beatles)
Brian Herrera: Andrew Garcia, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox (Dionne Warwick, kd lang)
Brian Herrera No. 2: Siobahn Magnus, Alex Lambert, Crystal Bowersox (The Beatles, Beyonce)
Caitlin Ross: Andrew Garcia, Ashley Rodriguez, Crystal Bowersox (Taylor Swift, Willie Nelson)
David Sigler: Katie Stevens, Ashley Rodriguez, Crystal Bowersox (Prince, Carrie Underwood)
DeAnn Welker: Alex Lambert, Tim Urban, Lee Dewyze (Daughtry, Michael Jackson)
Dena Cubbin: Casey James, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox (Cyndi Lauper, The Rolling Stones)
Denise Thompson: Andrew Garcia, Didi Benami, Casey James (Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson)
DiJonnaisse: Andrew Garcia, Lilly Scott, Lee Dewyze (Stevie Wonder, Carrie Underwood)
Eliza Orlins: Casey James, Didi Benami, Haeley Vaughn (The Beatles, Michael Jackson)
Emily Reid: Casey James, Haeley Vaughn, Tim Urban (Stevie Wonder, Taylor Swift)
Joe Reid: Casey James, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox (Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson)
Jonah Thompson: Casey James, Didi Benami, Michael Lynche (Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson)
John Ramos: Lacey Brown, Haeley Vaughn, Tyler Grady (Carrie Underwood, Michael Jackson)
Katie Doherty: Casey James, Michael Lynche, Katie Stevens (John Mayer, Pink)
Kristeen Cool: Janell Wheeler, Jermaine Sellers, Crystal Bowersox (The Beatles, Elvis Presley)
Kristi Turnquist: Andrew Garcia, Todrick Hall, Katie Stevens (Stevie Wonder, Sheryl Crow)
Kyle Czerwinski: Andrew Garcia, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox (Shania Twain, Beyonce)
Linda Holmes: Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Crystal Bowersox (Whitney Houston, Rascal Flatts)
Marc Hirsh: Andrew Garcia, Didi Benami, Ashley Rodriguez (Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson)
Maria Wonsetler: Michael Lynche, Didi Benami, Casey James (Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson)
Mark Blankenship: Andrew Garcia, Didi Benami, Ashley Rodriguez (Elton John, Alicia Keys)
Megan Lynn: Casey James, Lilly Scott, Crystal Bowersox (Stevie Wonder, Taylor Swift)
Pat Frazier: Casey James, Didi Benami, Todrick Hall (Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson)
Penni McDermott: Casey James, Katie Stevens, Lee Dewyze (Lionel Richie, Michael Jackson)
Rick Hickman: Casey James, Todrick Hall, Lee Dewyze (Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson)
Roger Kisby: Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Siobahn Magnus (Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson)
Sarah Blackwood: Andrew Garcia, Todrick Hall, Ashley Rodriguez (Fleetwood Mac, James Brown)
Stephen Thompson: Andrew Garcia, Aaron Kelly, Crystal Bowersox (Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin)
Tequila Mockingbird: Katie Stevens, Michael Lynche, Crystal Bowersox (The Beatles, Janet Jackson)
Traci Potochnik: Andrew Garcia, John Park, Crystal Bowersox (Stevie Wonder, Martina McBride)
Vance Hues: Andrew Garcia, Michael Lynche, Janell Wheeler (Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys)

Meet the Idols, Part 3

2010-02-18T08:21:00.001-08:00

*I will update these posts as time permits. For now, judge them by their faces, as God intended.

Why pick Lilly? Her silver-hairedness makes her stand out almost as much as her honey-smooth vocals do. Especially in the early stages, uniqueness counts as much as (if not more so than) anything else, so Lilly's got a built-in advantage.

Why not? She's esoteric and cool, two things that make her awesome personally but a risky bet on Idol.

Favorite artists/inspirations: George Harrison, Janis Joplin, The Beatles

Why pick "Big Mike"? He's arguably gotten the most attention of anyone else thus far, which counts for a lot. He's likeable and blends R&B smoothness with guitar-based inventiveness, which might be the perfect equation for this show.

Why not? Some of us think his vocals have been overrated.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Maxwell, Lauryn Hill, Al Green, Jimi Hendrix

Why pick Michelle? Everybody loves a dark horse.

Why not? Not everybody votes for one.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Michael Jackson, Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Pink, Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner

Why pick Paige? Everybody loves a dark horse.

Why pick Paige? Not everybody votes for one.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Michael Jackson, Christina Aguilera, Patti LaBelle, Lauryn Hill, Celine Dion, Etta James

Why pick Siobahn? We haven't seen much of her, but she delivered a strong Stevie Wonder song on Hollywood, and she's a glass-blower's apprentice from Cape Cod, MA. Which seriously makes me want to vote for her on that basis alone.

Why not? There's always one weird girl to totally crash and burn in Week 1. That girl is almost always the Siobahn Magnus.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Courtney Love, Janis Joplin, Billie Holiday, Lauryn Hill, Jonny Lang, Stevie Wonder, David Bowie, Hanson

Why pick Tim? Um, he's adorable? Duh.

Why not? Up until the last-minute ineligibility of Chris Golightly (that albino foster kid with the Sideshow Bob hair who was secretly in a boy band), Tim wasn't in the Top 24.

Favorite artists/inspirations: James Taylor, Colbie Callait, John Denver, One Republic, Jack Johnson, John Mayer

Why pick Todrick? As a pure vocalist, he's one of the best of the guys.

Why not? His frequent diva antics have been a turn-off.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Rascal Flatts, Beyonce, Jazmine Sullivan

Why pick Tyler? There's nobody else on his '70s-rocker wavelength and, again, uniqueness counts.

Why not? Some might find his self-conscious straining-to-be-cool to be annoying.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Led Zeppelin, The Who, The Rolling Stones, The Doors, Aerosmith, The Beatles, Alicia Keys

Meet the Idols, Part 2

2010-02-18T08:18:00.000-08:00

*I will update these posts as time permits. For now, judge them by their faces, as God intended.

Why pick Lee? He'd been pretty much unseen until he was featured as one of the seven early-admittance choices to make the Top 24 on Tuesday. I have an odd feeling that semi-prominent spotlight makes him a dark-horse.

Why not? While his Hollywood rendition of "You Found Me" turned out pretty great, the show focused on his lyric-flubbing at the beginning.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Cat Stevens, Simon & Garfunkel, Eric Clapton, Ben Harper, Sarah McLachlan, Katy Perry

Why pick Lacy? This season's requisite red/pink-haired contestant was a Season 8 reject who has shown a collected professionalism this year.

Why not? We haven't seen a ton of her singing.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Pete Yorn, Patsy Cline

Why pick Katie? She's been featured in countless show promos/montages/roundups of the major contenders. She can certainly sing. Her personal story (Grandma w/ Alzheimers) is pretty bulletproof. You don't hate grandmas, do you???

Why not? Among the good singers, she's pretty bland.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Jason Mraz, Whitney Houston, Taylor Swift

Why pick Katelyn? She had a super-hot audition with a Duffy song that no one seems to remember but me.

Why not? Beyond her super-memorable giant hair, I'm not sure how memorable her vocals have been for everyone.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Stevie Wonder, Karen O, Radiohead, Wilco, Jack White

Why pick John? His audition, which had Shania Twain babbling and smitten, was one of the best moments of the season. He's totally cute and can sing for real.

Why not? We didn't get to hear him sing at all in Hollywood. Dark horse or fading?

Favorite artists/inspirations: Stevie Wonder, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Jamie Cullum, John Legend, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, Joss Stone, Gavin DeGraw

Why pick Joe? Um...you thought his version of "Man in the Mirror" in Hollywood was better than the dozen other ones?

Why not? That's the only time we've ever seen him.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Michael Buble, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, The Beatles

Why pick Jermaine? His audition performance of Joan Osborne's "One of Us" got a lot of attention, and he's shown himself to have a great voice.

Why not? Those vocals have also been embellished out to here, and he threw the band under the bus in Hollywood.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Stevie Wonder, Patti LaBelle, Donny Hathaway, Aretha Franklin, Kelly Price

Why pick Janell? Her acoustic "American Boy" in Hollywood was a scene-stealer. Pretty blonde girls are always a good bet.

Why not? She turned in an awful "Love Story" in her last performance, and showed herself to be the kind of overly-verbal that earned Brooke White some detractors. Plus, she's dating Tim Tebow? Look for her to be the pretty blonde with lots of haters. (Though those girls tend to do well.)

Favorite artists/inspirations: Stevie Nicks, Journey, Shania Twain, Williw Nelson, Johnny Cash, Spice Girls
.
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Meet the Idols, Part 1

2010-02-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

*I will update these posts as time permits. For now, judge them by their faces, as God intended.

Why pick Haely? The black-Taylor-Swift thing could really go somewhere, she's super likeable, and she could work the underdog thing hard.

Why not? Strictly speaking, she's not the best singer of the bunch. But again, I point to one Ms. Swift and wonder how much that matters?

Favorite artists/inspirations: Taylor Swift, Ron Pope, Katy Perry

Why pick Didi? Her Hollywood week rendition of Kara DioGuardi's "Terrified" was a high mark for the whole field. She's had mad screen time and a strong personal story (the dead BFF).

Why not? The personal story has reached the saturation point, and the frequent crying jags turn people againt you in a hurry.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Paul McCartney, Patti Griffin, Adele, Norah Jones, Sheryl Crow, Joni Mitchell, Sarah McLachlan, Amy Winehouse, John Lennon

Why pick Crystal? She actually improved upon Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy" in Hollywood and has thus far been pretty flawless, vocally.

Why not? Yes, it's shallow, but ... the hair. And ... the teeth. I'm saying! A cut and some whitening strips might not be the worst thing for her.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Ray LaMontagne, Glen Hansard, Melissa etheridge, Janis Joplin, Jewel, Tracy Chapman

Why pick Casey? He's gotten mad screen time for both his Kara-baiting good looks AND for his strong bleusy vocals and musicianship.

Why not? The Kara's-plaything thing is gonna wear on people, if it hasn't already.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Doyle Bramhall II, Mindy Smith, other people he's sure you've never heard of

Why pick Ashley? She has the self-possession of a Berklee College of Music student (which she is) and probably has the best shot of emerging from the pack of previously-unknowns.

Why not? We've seen very little of her, and she doesn't have a hook.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Beyonce, Whitney Houston, John Mayer, Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder

Why pick Andrew? He's been a frontrunner ever since his audition, but especially since his cover of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up."

Why not? We've yet to really see how someone from his demo (neck-tatted Latino) does with the middle-of-the-middle Idol audience.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Adele, Beyonce, Janet Jackson, Alicia Keys

Why pick Alex? Because you feel bad that he was subjected to Mary Powers's group round apocalypse.

Why not? Because he centered his entire Hollywood campaign around a ukelele.

Favorite artists/inspirations: The Beatles, Jim Morrison, Led Zeppelin, James Taylor, John Mayer, Colbie Callait

Why pick Aaron? He killed his audition song, "The Climb," and he's exactly the kind of fresh-faced, "I wanna adopt him" kid who always goes far on this show.

Why not? He gave a substandard performance of "Angel" in Hollywood week.

Favorite artists/inspirations: Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood, Celine Dion
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Top 24 Announced; Picks Due Tuesday

2010-02-17T20:43:00.000-08:00

So! We've got a Top 24! Picks are due Tuesday by 7pm Eastern time. I'm going to try to get a few posts up here profiling the contestants to better help you decide, but my sister's in from out of town this weekend so I can't promise anything. (If you're having trouble remembering who these people are, I'd suggest the Idol website and/or YouTube.)

For now, here are the names of the Top 24:

Boys: Michael Lynche, Casey James, Aaron Kelly, Todrick Hall, Lee Dewyze, Tyler Grady, Joe Munoz, Alex Lambert, John Park, Jermaine Sellers, Andrew Garcia, Tim Urban.

Girls: Didi Benami, Katelyn Epperly, Janell Wheeler, Lilly Scott, Lacey Brown, Ashley Rodriguez, Haeley Vaughn, Katie Stevens, Siobahn Magnus, Michelle Delmar, Paige Miles, Crystal Bowersox.

Go forth and pick with confidence! (And paypal your $10 to my gmail address whenever you can.)

Here, once again, are the rules of the game:

Once the Top 24 Are Selected...

YOU SELECT three A.I. contestants who you think will go the farthest in the competition.

YOU ALSO SELECT two real-world musical artists whose songs you think will be covered in abundance during the course of the season.

YOU SIT BACK and watch the points accumulate for your chosen ones.

YOU GET POINTS WHEN YOUR CONTESTANT
...doesn’t get eliminated in a given week (+5)

...is the first to sing on the performance show (+1)

...is the last to sing on the performance show (+2)

...is chosen for the "Judges' Save" (+3)

...is put in the George Huff/Bo Bice/Taylor Hicks “King Solomon” position (+3)*

* To explain: this happens only once a year, and it’s usually when there are seven performers left. Seacrest puts three in one group, three in another, and asks the seventh person to choose which group he thinks didn’t finish at the bottom of the voting. That seventh person has to play King Solomon and basically choose who he thinks is awesome and who he thinks sucks. Anyway, it’s a way to pimp the King Solomon, so you should get points for it, I feel.

YOU LOSE POINTS WHEN YOUR CONTESTANT
...finishes in the bottom two but isn’t eliminated (-3)

...finishes in the bottom three but isn’t eliminated (-2)

YOU GET POINTS WHEN YOUR MUSICAL ARTIST

...has a song of theirs covered on the show (+2 per song)

...shows up as a special guest, performer, or judge (+2)

...has a theme week devoted to the contestants singing their songs (a +5 ceiling rather than points for each song individually)
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The Idol Contenders So Far

2010-02-14T18:01:00.000-08:00

It's not exactly comprehensive, but here's a collection of Idol contestants who managed to stand out during the auditions and, most importantly, last week's Hollywood episodes. Between these descriptions, linked clips, and this week's episodes, you should be able to make your picks with some confidence.

Andrew Garcia
(Musician, 24, Moreno Valley, CA)
Watch video
Regrettably neck-tatted son of two gang members made good. Laid down a fairly excellent acoustic version of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" that really impressed in H'wood.

Katie Stevens
(HS Student, 17, Middlebury, CT)
Watch video
Her audition round human interest story involved her grandmother with Alzheimers, which is of course sad, but in a season where, once again, the auditions became a competition for best tragedy, that won't get her by. She sings pretty well, though.

Jannell Wheeler
(Sales Rep, 24, Tampa, FL)
Watch video

Barely glimpsed in her audition, Jannell proceeded to impress in Hollywood with a peppy guitar version of the Estelle/Kanye West hit "American Boy." Pretty and blonde has never hurt on this show either.

Haeley Vaughn
(HS Student, 16, Fort Collins, CO)
Watch video
Squeaky lispy girl who triggered Simon's "black girls singing country music" uneasiness but otherwise was totally impressive. I personally can't entirely get past the lispy baby-doll voice, but if the country is clammoring for the next Taylor Swift in the body of the next Rudy Huxtable, Haeley might be a good bet.

Mary Powers
(Singer, 28, Burbank, CA)
Watch video
One of many contestants this year whose major life tragedy is the fact that they're a parent. Has belted out solid renditions of Pink and Pat Benetar, but it'll he hard for her to be remembered for anything but the incredible drama-queening in the Group Round.

Lilly Scott
(Musician/Sandwich Maker, 20, Littleton, CO)
Watch video
Pretty much unseen in the auditions, Lilly trotted out her guitar and her so-platinum-it's-pewter hairdo and laid down a pleasingly smooth Ella Fitzgerald song.

Michael Lynche
(Personal Trailer, 28, Astoria, NY)
Watch video
In this year of The Blind Side, it probably makes sense that Idol grabbed its own "Big Mike" to bulldoze everyone in sight. His John Mayer rendition in Hollywood was deemed impressive, but it was the show's dogged focus on how his wife was delivering their baby while he was rehearsing for Group Night that has me thinking they want him to go far.

John Park
(College Student, 20, Northbrook, IL)
Watch video
His deep, sexy R&B voice and fresh-faced good looks charmed the hell out of Shania Twain during auditions and rightly so. Haven't seen much of him in Hollywood, but that could change this week.

Katelyn Epperly
(Student, 19, Wes Des Moines, IA)
Watch video
Her full, flowing locks were on display for a strong, clear audition that was refreshingly light on frills. Her sob story (divorced parents) can't really compete, and she was ignored in week 1 of Hollywood but for a brief shot where we saw a sleeker, darker haircut that might only serve to further distance her from the audience's memory. Not that I'm overly worried for her or anything.

Angela Martin
(Singer, 28, Chicago, IL)
Watch video
Her third time trying out may well be the charm? Once again, her audition and hard-luck story got much attention only to have her ignored (thus far) in Hollywood.

Tim Urban
(College Student/Musician, 20, Duncanville, TX)
Watch video
Mop-topped cutie whose so-so vocal chops have been thus far trumped by his Jonas-y charms.

Casey James
(Musician, 27, Fort Worth, TX)
Watch video
Subjected to Kara's creepy sexual harrassmemt in his audition, Casey managed to build on his "looks good with his shirt off" beginning to emerge as a formidable Jonny Lang type (Casey can thank John Mayer's racist weiner for the fact that he's suddenly a smidge less marketable than he was a week ago). Casey's Group Night routine (with Janell Wheeler and Jermaine Purifoy) was the only unambiguously great routine of the night.

Didi Benami
(Waitress, 23, Knoxville, TN)
Watch video
After a excellent, if emotionally fraught, audition, Didi showed up in Hollywood and knocked a Kara DioGuardi song out of the park. Between the captivating voice and the constant threat of a breakdown, I've deemed her my Carly Smithson for the season.

Crystal Bowersox
(Musician/Mom, 24, Elliston, OH)
Watch video
White-lady dreadlocks and chin piercings have finally taken their rightful place at the center of America's most middlebrow hit. While her appearance may trigger the voice of my late grandmother that sometimes resides in the back of my head to wonder why a pretty girl would want to do that to herself, her Hollywood rendition of "Natural Woman" was strong and led to an awesome moment where the other contestants in the seats sang along.

Jermaine Sellers
(Church Singer, 26, Joliet, IL)
Watch video
Got mad love for his audition with Joan Osborne's "One of Us" despite being insanely melismatic. His annoying nature once again emerged on Group Night as he whined his way through an uninspiring performance, yet advanced.

CONGRATULATIONS!

2009-05-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

Not much upward movement in the pool these last several weeks, mostly because for the first time EVER (...in 3 seasons), not one person picked the eventual Idol winner. Something to keep in mind for next season: pick better!

So it shakes out thusly:

1st: Stephanie Oura $294

2nd: Andrew Byrne $84

3rd: Vance Hues $42

Congrats, y'all! I'll be contacting you about your prize money shortly.

Sorry for being so lax with the standings these last couple weeks, you guys. Hopefully you'll decide to come back for next season anyway.

Week 12: Performance Recap

2009-05-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

Predictable but still sucky that they had to cut it from 9 songs down to 6 this week because they have no ability to rein in the critiques, timewise. When Kara doesn't get brought back for next season, this is the reason they'll give. They won't be wrong, exactly; it's just won't be the entire reason.

One song chosen by the judges, one chosen by the contestants this week. Not sure if anything can keep Kris around for next week, but I can hope.

Danny Gokey (+2 sang first)
"Dance Little Sister" (chosen by Paula)
"You Are So Beautiful"
Paula always has the most interesting song choices at this stage, even if they're not necessarily the best. The first performance was energetic and fun, the second was boring and emotionally needy. Both were screamy in a way that I don't think he'll be able to sustain throughout a summer tour, much less a career. But he wasn't awful.

Kris Allen
"Apologize" (chosen by Kara and Randy)
"Heartless"
First of all, Kara can kiss my ass with that "I didn't like the arrangement of that song I chose for you" bullshit. I thought only Randy Jackson would ever have the balls to call song choice on a song he chose. So with a poorly chosen song, Kris was unimpressive. "Heartless," however, was my absolute favorite performance of the night and I will be buying that shit from iTunes most definitely. Shrewd song choice, too -- from the break, he had a better than 50/50 shot at outsinging the original. If the stupid judges/audience would've shut the hell up for a second, Simon's praise might've had a chance to sink in. If he does go home tomorrow, I at least think he'll be able to put out a commercially viable record by, like, Friday. (Which is something I don't think I'd have said 5 weeks ago.)

Adam Lambert (+3 sang last)
"One" (chosen by Simon) (U2 +2)
"Cryin'"
I'll still say about Adam that he has a ridiculously powerful instrument, and from time to time he employs it in a way that I find compelling. He also seems like a hell of a sweet guy, and I would rather see what kind of album he puts out than Danny, Lil, Anoop, or pretty much anyone that went out before the judges used their save. That being said ... I really hated that performance of "One." The beginning sounded pretty, if possessed of that self-aware "emoting" that Adam does that tends to keep me at a distance. But once the acrobatics started, any semblance of melody went completely out the window, and he just lost the song entirely in a haze of crazy vocal tricks. He usually has a much tighter grip on his horses. "Cryin'" held together much better, I thought -- a fine entry from the early Aerosmith songbook.

Best of the night: Kris's "Heartless"
Worst of the night: Adam's "One"

Going home: Kris (and, eventually, Kara)
I wish would go home: Danny (and, ideally, Kara) (and Randy) (and Paula)

Week 11 Points/Standings

2009-05-09T11:15:00.000-07:00

Ryan was probably as explicit as he's ever been that we weren't getting a proper Bottom 3 this week, so no harm nor foul for Kris and Danny. So now, with no one picking Kris, and everyone at the top having picked Adam and Danny together, it's down to artist picks to decide the pool's outcome. COME ON, CELINE!

POINTS:
Adam +10 (+2 sang first; +3 sang last)
Kris +5
Danny +5
Allison +3 (sang last)

POINTS TO DATE

Stephanie -- 165
Andrew -- 161
Vance -- 159

Joe -- 158
David O. -- 151
Kristeen -- 151
Aaron -- 140

Dave B. -- 139
Melody -- 139
Robin -- 139
Brian Corridan -- 138
Courtney -- 137
Jeff -- 137
Liz -- 133
Tracie -- 133
Gabriel -- 131
Stephen -- 129

Mark B. -- 117
Emily -- 111
Megan -- 102
Chad -- 97
DeAnn -- 97
Denise -- 97
Marc H. -- 97
Kristi -- 95
Linda -- 95
Brian H. #1 -- 94
John R. -- 93
Brian Cool -- 91
Katie -- 91

Kim -- 83
Rick -- 78
Sarah -- 78
Anna Beth -- 74
Angela -- 74
Marnie -- 68
Kyle -- 65
Dylan -- 64
Brian H. #2 -- 59
Mary -- 52
John H. -- 50
Gretta -- 15

Week 11 Performance Recap

2009-05-05T19:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, so for YEARS I have been clammoring for a Duets Week on "Idol." I never thought it would happen because of how inherently unfair it would be to either a) saddle a good singer with a crappy one for a week, or b) saddle a crappy singer with another crappy singer and damn their chances entirely. But now that they're down to four singers, all of whom are reasonably talented, that's not really an issue, so look what we get! Happy Tuesday to me!

One of the reasons I've always wanted a duets week, beyond my hope for some "Leather and Lace" up in here, is the absolute uproar it would cause among fans, critics, conspiracy theorists, and all. Looking around the internet, I can see I was not wrong. I'll even join in: Why finally do duets during rock week, the least-duetty genre of them all? Ah well.

Adam Lambert (first +2)
"Whole Lotta Love"
Great vocal that did reasonable justice to the original (though how is Allison a "copycat" Janis and Adam now a copycat Robert Plant considering how faithfully they both delivered their performances?). Still looks like he's playing dress-up, which always takes me out of the performance, but I liked the sound of it.

Allison Iraheta
"Cry Baby"
At the time, I thought that Allison's lack of a real knockout performance here (it was good, just not great) was going to mean big trouble for her. After the hour was up, maybe not, but I still agreed with Randy (...I know) when he said that the song didn't give her enough room to blow people away. Also, like Simon, I thought Allison was considering the Queen "Somebody to Love." Unlike Simon, I am very glad she didn't pick that one, but the Jefferson Airplane "Somebody to Love"? That could've been fun.

Danny Gokey and Kris Allen
"Renegade"
They did manage to sound quite good singing together (with a big assist from the backup singers). But left to their own devices, Danny seemed strained and Kris was completely aimless and lost. He didn't sound bad, but he didn't know what to do with himself at all. Even in the critique he seemed like he was looking for a place to sit down.

Kris Allen
"Come Together" (Beatles +2)
I didn't think it sounded nearly as bad as everyone else did. I like that he didn't try to step too far out of what works for him. He was kind of fucked either way, because what he should have done was taken a super hard-edged song and made it into a smooth Kris coffeehouse number, but I think the judges (and/or Slash) would have KILLED him for it. I think he's going home, much to my extreme chagrin.

Danny Gokey
"Dream On"
I can't ... how do I even begin to describe the many layers of terror that was this performance. I watched half of it with my face behind a pillow, and that was BEFORE the Last Screech on the Left that killed the song dead. The early notes were strained, the attempted eye-fucking (which, combined with The Scream suggested that this was Danny doing his Adam impersonation), that embarrassing "do-do-do" ... it's too much. Somebody's gonna need to hold up a photo of ME in front of a TV camera next week because Danny Gokey just killed me dead.

Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta (last, +3 for each)
"Slow Ride"
What I said, verbatim, once Ryan said the word "Foghat": "Oh God DAMN it, Lambert!" You know he chose that shit. Here's where, if I'm a crazy TWoP-posting conspiracy nut, I start spinning my wheels, because if I want to make Allison sing something that she can't possibly impress with, vocally (if Randy thought "Cry Baby" was repetitive?), wouldn't this be my sandbag of choice? Anyway, I don't believe that's the case (for one thing, Adam and Allison really seem to be close), and even if it was, it didn't work. The vocals weren't anything to write home about (again, the song doesn't really ask for much), but A & A were having so much damn FUN on the stage. Their combined stage presence was -- I'll say it -- a joy to behold. Yes. "A joy."

Predicted Bottom 3: Kris, Danny, Allison
Going home: Kris

Week 11 Results/Points

2009-05-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

Eeeep! Never posted last week's scores. Sorry, guys. Anyway, there were no artist points on Rat Pack Week, so that made things easier. Also, the King Solomon showed up a couple weeks late this time around, so while Adam was bottom two (-3 points), he made up for it by singing last (+3) and being the Solomon in the middle (+3).

Points this week:
Adam +8
Kris +5
Allison +5
Danny +5
Matt 0

POINTS TO DATE:

Stephanie -- 150
Andrew -- 146
Vance -- 144

Joe -- 143
David O. -- 134
Melody -- 134
Kristeen -- 134
Robin -- 134
Brian Corridan -- 133
Courtney -- 132
Dave B. -- 131

Jeff -- 129
Liz -- 128
Tracie -- 128
Aaron -- 125
Stephen -- 122
Gabriel -- 116
Emily -- 106
Mark B. -- 104
Megan -- 102

Brian H. #1 -- 94
John R. -- 93
Chad -- 92
Denise -- 92
Marc H. -- 92
Linda -- 90

DeAnn -- 87
Brian Cool -- 86
Katie -- 86
Kristi -- 85

Kim -- 78
Rick -- 78
Anna Beth -- 74
Sarah -- 73
Angela -- 69
Kyle -- 60

Dylan -- 59
Marnie -- 58
Brian H. #2 -- 56
Mary -- 52
John H. -- 47
Gretta -- 15

Week 10 Results/Points

2009-04-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of a performance recap, but it was kind of an underwhelming week, right? Disco wasn't a good fit for anyone, so pretty much no one adhered to the theme -- even Season 4's legendarily dubious "'70s Dance Music" theme produced more actual disco (Carrie's hilarious "MacArthur Park" comes gloriously to mind).

As for results night, a more predictable pair of eliminations than I was expecting, but happily so. I'll say this, too: My brief flirtation with giving credulity to Dial Idol is well and truly over, after five straight weeks of making me crazy worrying that Allison and Kris were last in the voting only to have them not even be in the Bottom 3 (they had Lil in FIRST this week). They had been pretty accurate in the last couple seasons, but for whatever reason, the wheels came off this year.

Also, this probably doesn't reflect too well on me, but I took WAY too much pleasure in watching how hard Anoop was taking his elimination. I realize I've spent the last month and a half interpreting Anoop's every action through the very negative prism in which he is a smarmy, frat-adjacent, unsuccessfully faux-humble wannabe who finds himself far cooler than he will ever be. But a) I think I'm on the money there (two separate weeks where he wore varsity jackets, people), and b) half the fun of watching this show is creating your own narrative anyway. But either way, I've grown to loathe him, so to see him look so pissed was delicious. Back to Chapel Hill indeed.

Points this week:
Kris, Matt, Danny, Adam: +5
Allison: +3 (Bottom 3)
Anoop: +3 (sang last)
Lil: +2 (sang first)

No artists points (I need to remember to pick Donna Summer next season; every year she is a sleeping giant). Because the theme was Disco, giving out Whitney points for "I'm Every Woman" is pretty indefensible. I'm sure I'll hear some dissent on that issue, but I'm fucked either way as far as that's concerned.

I actually don't have the spreadsheet in front of me, but I'm pretty sure only 3 poolies (Dave Bunting, David Ozanich, and Kristeen) still have all 3 contestants still alive. They're all a good bit behind the leaders, though, so now it's become a race to see if they can close the gap before their chances run out and the show whittles itself down to the inevitable Danny/Adam final. I'm kind of excited to see how it plays out.

POINTS TO DATE:

Stephanie -- 137
Andrew -- 133
Vance -- 131

Joe -- 130
Melody -- 129
Robin -- 129
Brian Corridan -- 128
Courtney -- 127
David O. -- 123
Liz -- 123
Tracie -- 123
Dave B. -- 121
Kristeen -- 121

Jeff -- 119
Stephen -- 117
Aaron -- 112
Gabriel -- 103
Megan -- 102
Emily -- 101
Brian H. #1 -- 94
John R. -- 93
Mark B. -- 91

Chad -- 87
Denise -- 87
Marc H. -- 87
Linda -- 85
Brian Cool -- 81
Katie -- 81

DeAnn -- 79
Rick -- 78
Kristi -- 77
Anna Beth -- 74
Kim -- 73
Sarah -- 68
Angela -- 64

Kyle -- 55
Dylan -- 54
Mary -- 52
Brian H. #2 -- 51
Marnie -- 50
John H. -- 42
Gretta -- 15

Week 9 Results/Points

2009-04-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

So I trust if you care at all about not being spoiled about tonight's elimination, you're already steering well clear of this blog, yes? Okay.

So the Judges' Save! After I left absolutely zero chance that the judges would ever save Matt, they...did. And in a really confusing manner, in which Simon was either overruled by the other three (which would mean the whole "unanimous" requirement for the Save had been jettisoned) or else he was trying to preserve his cool by pretending he didn't want to save Matt. Either way, the save has been used and is done for the season.

And while I don't think Matt's performance this week -- last night or tonight -- merited the save, I'm actually really glad they used it on him. The fact that he has no real chance of winning the whole show mitigates the impact of the Save on the ultimate outcome; certainly much more so than if Danny or Adam had been saved. And I still pretty much like Matt, so I'm cool.

As for points, I'm counting both Matt and Lil as Bottom Two, so they both get the -3.

THIS WEEK'S POINTS
Allison +7 (+2, sang first)
Lil +5 (+3 sang last; -3 Bottom Two)
Adam +5
Danny +5
Kris +5
Anoop +3 (-2 Bottom Three)
Matt +2 (-3 Bottom Two)

Bryan Adams +4 ("Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman"; "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)")
Lionel Ritchie +2 ("Endless Love")

THIS WEEK'S STANDINGS

Stephanie -- 125
Andrew -- 121
Vance -- 119

Brian Corridan -- 118
Joe -- 117
Melody -- 117
Robin -- 117
Courtney -- 115
Liz -- 111
Tracie -- 111

Dave B. -- 108
David O. -- 108
Jeff -- 108
Stephen -- 107
Kristeen -- 106
Aaron -- 102

Megan -- 95
Emily -- 93
Gabriel -- 93
Brian H. #1 -- 89
John R. -- 86
Mark B. -- 83
Chad -- 80
Marc H. -- 80

Denise -- 77
Linda -- 77
Brian Cool -- 74
Katie -- 74
Rick -- 73
Kristi -- 72
DeAnn -- 71

Anna Beth -- 69
Kim -- 68
Sarah -- 63
Angela -- 59
Kyle -- 50
Dylan -- 49
Brian H. #2 -- 48
Mary -- 47
Marnie -- 45
John H. -- 39
Gretta -- 15

Week 9 Performance Recap

2009-04-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

You know, perhaps if you're not allowed to say the name of the guy's movie on the show, maybe the guy is an ill fit for the show. Thinking out loud here.

Allison Iraheta +2
"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing
Not my favorite performance of hers, with some bum notes and some screaming, but she's still one of the few performers this season who earns my complete and utter devotion when she hits her marks. Which she did her fair share of with this, the Diane Warren-iest song of them all. The opening slot has me tres worried for her, but she seems to do well when the judges like her (which they did this week), so who knows?

Anoop Desai
"Everything I Do, I Do It For You" (Bryan Adams +2)
Okay, first of all, the return of that goddamn varsity jacket of his was both annoying and yet convenient shorthand to remind me just how much I hate him. After all of Quentin's exhortations to put some growl into the song, Anoop gives a Sominex-sponsored rendition of the song that made us all fall in love with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. Naturally, Randy and Kara are all over it, because I could not be on a different page than those two, at every turn.

Adam Lambert
"Born to Be Wild"
Almost as annoying a song choice as "Play That Funky Music" (quite a fucking feat, that), but Adam was helped by a typically excellent vocal (despite the 4-6 over-the-top notes that are equally typical), relaxed interaction with the band, and a sextastic new haircut. Haircut!

Matt Giraud
"Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" (Bryan Adams +2)
This is easily in my Top 5 least favorite songs of all time, so I really can't judge it, like, at all. But I think it was pretty boring, and Matt could certainly go home for not motivating whatever fan base he might have. (Personally, I don't think Matt or Allison have much of a base constituency, which puts them at the mercy of the judges' critiques much more than anyone else. Which is why Matt's gonna be Bottom 2.)

Danny Gokey
"Endless Love" (Lionel Ritchie +2)
Okay, I TOTALLY called that Danny would sing this song. Probably not that tough a call, but still. And the HARP! The instrument of heaven's angels themselves! And the glance upwards at the end. I was kind of ticked at Simon for playing the dead-wife card on Danny's behalf, but Danny really was playing it enough on his own. Uh...but the vocals were great. (Don't tell anybody, but I have a not insignificant soft spot for this song.)

Kris Allen
"Falling Slowly"
My prediction is that Kris will be voted off this week because all of his fans have been summarily reduced to jelly and unable to operate their telephone machines. Seriously, though, SO AWESOME. Yes, the song is doing 90% of the heavy lifting here, but in this season of nonstop obsession with song choice, this was the best song choice yet. Randy Jackson can EAT IT, that was fantastic.

Lil Rounds (last +3)
"The Rose"
Okay, see what I wrote up there about a soft spot for "Endless Love"? That goes exponential in all directions for "The Rose." I will not apologize. That is a beautiful song. Not the way Lil sang it, of course. I was saying to Roommate Mark that the condensed Idol version of the song loses the slow build to the end anyway; it didn't help that Lil lavished so much attention on the individual notes that she lost what the song as a whole is supposed to sound like. Not good.

Two Best: Kris, Adam
Two Worst: Lil, Anoop

Predicted Bottom 3: Matt, Lil, Allison
Going Home: Matt

However, if it's Allison with the lowest number of votes, this would be the first week where I could seriously buy the judges saving someone.

I have (yet) another theory

2009-04-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

The more I think about the Adam Lambert phenomenon, the more I'm struck with the sense that there's a distinct ceiling to his popularity. He is, very much, What He Is. There is nobody like him on the show, and he's not splitting his votes with anybody else, I don't think. The flipside, however, is that nobody is splitting their votes with him, which suggests to me that he won't profit from the eliminations to come. I mean, he's not going to pick up the votes that become available when Anoop Desai or Matt Giraud get bounced over the next few weeks. Danny Gokey, on the other hand, might. Allison Iraheta might. Kris Allen might. Adam, on the other hand, has shown us more or less his entire hand by now, and people's minds are pretty much made up. I'm not sure he's picking up new fans at this point so much as keeping his fanbase at a full boil. Which is good for him. But it also means that there's a limit to how far they can take him. And I think that limit lies somewhere before the finale.

So I guess what I'm saying is, he's clearly capable of winning plurality after plurality. I'm not so sure he can muster up a majority.

Week 8 Points/Standings

2009-04-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

POINTS THIS WEEK:
Adam +8
Danny +7
Kris +5
Allison +5
Matt +5
Lil +3
Anoop +2
Stevie Wonder +2
Scott 0 (ELIMINATED)

POINTS TO DATE:

Stephanie -- 110
Andrew -- 106
Brian Corridan -- 105
Melody -- 105
Robin -- 105

Joe -- 104
Vance -- 104
Courtney -- 103
Liz -- 99
Tracie -- 99

David O. -- 96
Dave B. -- 94
Kristeen -- 94
Stephen -- 94
Jeff -- 93
Aaron -- 92

Megan -- 88
Emily -- 85
Gabriel -- 83
Brian H. #1 -- 81
John R. -- 79

Mark B. -- 71
Chad -- 70
Denise -- 70
Marc H. -- 70
Linda -- 69
Anna Beth -- 67
Kristi -- 67
Rick -- 65
Brian Cool -- 64
Katie -- 64
DeAnn -- 64
Kim -- 61

Sarah -- 58
Angela -- 54
Mary -- 45
Dylan -- 44
Brian H. #2 -- 41
Kyle -- 41
Marnie -- 40
John H. -- 32
Gretta -- 15

Scott McIntyre, I've Got a Deal For You

2009-04-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

Here are the terms: You agree to bow out this week before you displace Kris or Allison or Matt or anyone good. And in return, you get to write and perform next season's "You're going home" song. It's pretty much the height of your ambition in music anyway. Why not just cut to the chase? Deal? (P.S.: If you get actually voted off tomorrow, this deal is off the table.)

I don't think I have time to do a full write-up of tonight's performances, but Mark did, so please hit up The Critical Condition for his thoughts. As for me, briefly:

Danny cheated the theme and sang a crappy arrangement of a good (if overplayed) song. Kris was wildly overcriticized in the same way Matt was wildly overcriticized last week, making me think there is a curse on that spot in the middle of the crowd. This was the first week that Kris paired real artistry with his usual hot-ass excellence, so of course the judges hated it. Lil sounded good for the first time in weeks, and while she did give a copycat performance, I think the judges really missed the boat that mission 1 at this point was for Lil to STOP SUCKING and she did. Anoop was completely smarmy and gross from stem to stern, including that fake-ass apology. His "True Colors" was wildly insincere, which isn't always a problem for me, but on this particular song it's death. Scott was ass and should by all rights go home tomorrow. Allison sounded very, very good on a song that I find very, very boring, and I worry that she could be in trouble again (though the judges did praise her, so who knows?). Matt was great, though the song trended towards the obnoxious side of his personality. The judges went completely over the top in their praise, but since they completely fucked him over last week, it evens out. And finally, I finally get to agree with the consensus: I really liked Adam's performance. Better than "Tracks of My Tears" for several reasons, but one being that the song fits his image a hell of a lot better. This felt like an Adam performance and not a Motown cover. And how cute were his parents??

More important than any of that, however? Matt Giraud was in Angels Aware in grade school! I was in Angels Aware in grade school! Yeah!

POINTS THIS WEEK:
Danny +2 (sang first)
Adam +3 (sang last)
Stevie Wonder +2 ("Part-Time Lover")

Week 7 Points/Standings

2009-04-02T04:45:00.000-07:00

Not a ton of movement in the standings this week, mostly because the eliminated singer (Megan) and the top point-getter (Kris) were picked by 0.00 people. Courtney did ride a surprise Journey performance to be the week's top point-getter. So once again, someone has reason to thank God for Steve Perry.

Points this week:
Kris: +8 (+3 for singing last)
Anoop: +4 (+2 sang first; -3 bottom two)
Allison: +3 (-2 bottom three)
Everyone else besides Megan: +5
Billy Joel: +2
Celine Dion: +2
Journey: +2

WEEK 7 STANDINGS

Brian Corridan -- 91
Stephanie -- 90
Andrew -- 88
Courtney -- 88
Melody -- 88
Robin -- 88

Vance -- 86
Joe -- 85
Liz -- 84
Tracie -- 84
Stephen -- 82

Jeff -- 79
Megan -- 78
Dave B. -- 77
Brian H. #1 -- 76
David O. -- 76
Aaron -- 75
Emily -- 74
Kristeen -- 74
John R. -- 71

Gabriel -- 66
Anna Beth -- 60
Chad -- 60
Kristi -- 59
Linda -- 58
Marc H. -- 58
Mark B. -- 58
Rick -- 58

Denise -- 56
Brian Cool -- 54
Katie -- 54
Kim -- 54
DeAnn -- 53
Sarah -- 51

Angela -- 47
Mary -- 40
Dylan -- 37
Brian H. #2 -- 36
Kyle -- 34
Marnie -- 32
John H. -- 27
Gretta -- 13

I'm not sure how we got here, but here we are.

2009-03-31T20:40:00.001-07:00

I... am becoming a fan of Kris Allen? How can that be right? The universe is a puzzle to me this season.

Week 7 Performance Recap

2009-03-31T19:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, the judges were so bullshitty this week. They have been all season (and, arguably, since time immemorial), but most especially tonight. I don't want to hear what song you'd have picked for them, Randy. And Kara. And Simon (who I really thought was better than the other ones). Maybe critique the performance they DID give and not the one they didn't? Paula's been an odd bright spot this season, but she was too drunk to hold up her end tonight. I did kind of like how the audience went from the usual pull-string-and-boo reactionary stuff to actually angrily jeering every time "song choice" was used as a negative.

And, to state the glaringly obvious, the theme this week was We Have No Theme, We Just Need to Product-Place iTunes a Whole Bunch.

Anoop Desai (+2 sang first)
"Caught Up"
Before he started to sing, I predicted he would gross me out. Good news! I was right! Kara actually said the one insightful comment in her repertoire tonight with the thing about this feeling like a frat prank. Anoop needs to stop looking at me like he wants to hate-fuck me, too. Because that is Adam Lambert's job. (Oh, and the vocals were for shit.)

Megan Joy
"Turn Your Lights Down Low"
By about a mile and a half, this was Megan's best performance to date, so of course the judges shit all over it; and went overboard to the point that they probably garnered sympathy points for her. Megan's not a good singer, and compared to everyone else, she's still the worst. But the judges glossed over all that to shoehorn her in the finals, so to be so mean when she finally didn't suck ass was crappy.

Danny Gokey
"What Hurts the Most"
Gross, but for different reasons than Anoop. I don't know, I guess he was good. He's Danny and it's country music -- I don't have the synapses to process both those things at once into good/bad.

Allison Iraheta
"Don't Speak"
As an unabashed Allison fan, I think this was her weakest performance yet, but not bad. The vocals were fine, but the arrangement sucked all the wind out of that song. It was an oddly unsatisfying performance, and I'd have liked to have explored why, exactly. So the judges spent the entirety of their time slamming her outfit. Awesome.

Scott McIntyre
"Just the Way You Are" (Billy Joel +2)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. And his hair looked stupid.

Matt Giraud
"You Found Me"
I thought he was fantastic, best of the night by a good margin. He even managed to make the "stranded in an island of morons" conceit work, which I totally didn't think would happen. He was professional, controlled, confident, and one of the few who actually did what the judges said they wanted and came across like you figure he would in his own career. But there's Kara telling him he has to choose rock or R&B because versatility sucks.

Lil Rounds
"I Surrender" (Celine Dion +2)
Each week, I think I understand Lil less and less. This should have been a good song for her, yes? But it really, really didn't work out that way. Maybe she's just very limited as a singer. I can see her going Bottom 3 tomorrow.

Adam Lambert
"Play That Funky Music"
God, I can't deal with this performance. It's like ... this is a joke, and I get that, but I don't think it's a very good joke. I don't see where this is clever, I don't see where this is artistic, and much as I think Adam is vocally on point, the shrieking really turns me off. And, sorry Simon, this was maybe the most karaoke performance of the night.

Kris Allen (+3 performed last)
"Ain't No Sunshine"
Disappointly boring song choice aside, this was a perfectly representative Kris Allen performance. He's never going to doing something totally cool and amazing and mind-blowing. There's a definite ceiling to the places Kris can go. But he manages to press up against that ceiling pretty much every week, giving the absolute best performance his mid-level ambition calls for. I don't even mean that as a backhanded compliment because I love him and I could watch him perform like this once a day, every day, for fucking ever. Also, I am a total sucker for a string section.

Best Three: Matt, Kris, and I guess Adam by default, if only because he hit all the notes
Worst Three: Anoop, Lil, and Scott
Predicted Bottom Three: Megan, Lil, and either Allison or Anoop, and whichever of those two it is will be going home. (Unless people just don't like Matt and agree with the judges, in which case he goes.)

Across The Anoopiverse

2009-03-31T17:56:00.000-07:00

1. If I had picked The Fray instead of The Beatles, I'd be two points ahead of where I am otherwise.

2. Matt, in addition to singing horribly, needs to can the frowny-face in a big way.

3. I never understand the judges' affection for Scott's singing, but to praise that Kirk Cameron wig he put on? There are no words.

4. He hasn't sung yet, as of this writing, but I kind of wish I'd picked Kris Allen.

5. Rascal Flatts = Goo Goo Dolls. Discuss!

Week 6 Standings

2009-03-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

Brian Corridan -- 77
Stephanie -- 75
Andrew -- 73
Melody -- 73
Robin -- 73

Vance -- 71
Courtney -- 69
Joe -- 69
Liz -- 69
Tracie -- 69
Megan -- 68
Stephen -- 68

Brian H. #1 -- 67
Jeff -- 67
Aaron -- 65
Emily -- 65
Dave B. -- 64
John R. -- 61

David O. -- 59
Kristeen -- 59
Gabriel -- 56
Anna Beth -- 50
Chad -- 50
Mark B. -- 50

Kristi -- 49
Linda -- 49
Rick -- 49
Marc H. -- 48
Denise -- 46
Sarah -- 46
Brian Cool -- 44
DeAnn -- 44
Kim -- 44
Angela -- 42
Katie -- 42

Mary -- 35
Brian H. #2 -- 33
Dylan -- 32
Kyle -- 29
Marnie -- 27
John H. -- 24
Gretta -- 13

Week 6 Results/Points

2009-03-26T19:50:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lack of recap today; I didn't get to see the episode until late last night, and by then I needed sleep more than I needed to go through my complicated feelings about why I don't hate Adam Lambert but I can't remotely get into him at all.

Basically, in order of preference: Allison rocked it yet AGAIN and gave the only performance I wanted to go back and listen to afterwards. Her command of the stage is astounding, and she manages to be likeable without cloying. And there is no way this girl is pulling off anything calculated, so it's gotta be genuine. Love, love, love. Matt was second-best, looking polished; then Kris and Adam, each one gaming the competition exactly right given their constituencies. They both have a firm grasp on what their appeal is and the kind of artist they each want to be. I prefer Kris, but they're both the exact same kind of artificial.

Anoop and Lil were inconsistent but not awful. Danny was annoying but not bad. Scott was ... Scott, and still looking slightly Ned Ryerson in the face. Sarver was officially past the point of being relevant. And Megan was a mess, as usual.

As for the RESULTS, Ryan was kind and announced a Bottom 3 (Scott, Michael, Matt) and a Bottom 2 (Michael Matt). Matt's poor showing, among other things, is yet further proof that singing at the beginning of a two-hour show is a damn difficult obstacle to overcome. Anyway, points this week:

Allison: +8 (+3 for singing first)
Matt: +4 (+2 sang first; -3 Bottom Two)
Scott: +3 (-2 Bottom 3)
Everyone else but Michael: +5
Stevie Wonder: +4 ("For Once in My Life," plus performance tonight)

Standings to come tonight/tomorrow. Feel free to talk up the week in the comments.

Motown Week

2009-03-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

I think I heard somewhere that this week will be Motown week. I also think I heard somewhere that the Obama address will bump Idol back to Wednesday and Thursday.

So...who won't be saved with the Judges' Save this week? Predict!

Week 5 Standings

2009-03-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

I have to say, I don't really understand the Alexis vote-out. I know some of my esteemed co-poolies hate her, and she was pretty average this week, but this still seems way too early for someone as talented as she is. I honestly don't know who's voting for "Megan Joy" (sigh), and while I probably do know who's voting for Scott, I don't respect them. (I still say Scott's sharing a fanbase with Danny, and that can't last too long.) I understand Allison being bottom 3 more because of that second-slot curse, but I think this is just one of those seasons where the ones I like aren't the ones who last. They're not all David Cook/Jordin/Melinda years. There are Taylor years too.

Anyway, FYI, I'm giving 2 points back to Anoop for last week because Ryan was a dick and never declared that he (or Megan, but -- rightly -- no one picked her) was bottom 2/3/4. He was a little better this week in telling us Allison/Alexis/Michael were bottom 3 but then he got cagey again when it was down to the latter two. A-hole. So -2 for Allison and Michael.

WEEK 5 POINTS:
Matt: +8
Michael: +5 (-2 for Bottom 3; +2 for performing first)
Everyone else besides Alexis and Allison: +5
Allison: +3

Carrie Underwood: +6 ("So Small," "Jesus Take the Wheel," plus Wednesday's performance)
Dolly Parton: +2 ("Jolene")
Bob Dylan: +2 ("To Make You Feel My Love")

WEEK 5 STANDINGS:

Andrew -- 58
Brian Corridan -- 58
Brian H. #1 -- 57
Stephanie -- 56
Vance -- 56

Courtney -- 55
Liz -- 55
Megan -- 55
Melody -- 55
Robin -- 55
Tracie -- 55
Stephen -- 55

John R. -- 52
Aaron -- 51
Emily -- 51
Joe -- 50
Jeff -- 49
Dave B. -- 47

David O. -- 45
Kristeen -- 45
Gabriel -- 42
Kristi -- 41
Sarah -- 41
Chad -- 40

Anna Beth -- 39
Angela -- 37
Mak B. -- 37
Kim -- 36
Linda -- 35
Rick -- 35

Brian Cool -- 34
DeAnn -- 34
Marc H. -- 34
Denise -- 33
Katie -- 32
Mary -- 31

Dylan -- 27
Brian H. #2 -- 25
Kyle -- 24
Marnie -- 22
John H. -- 16
Gretta -- 9

Week 5: Performance Recap

2009-03-18T06:01:00.000-07:00

As far as Country Weeks go on this show, this was a pretty successful one. More good performances than bad, no embarassing coybow/girl fashions, and guest mentor Randy Travis gamely resisted the temptation to feast on the bone marrow of the living. I know he was always a slender guy, y'all, but I'm starting to suspect a gypsy cursed him or something.

Michael Sarver (first +2)
"Aint Going Down Til the Sun Comes Up" (Garth Brooks)
A clever performance, and a fairly enjoyable one even for an avid Garth-avoider like me. I think Michael needed to show he had some energy and he managed to do that while sounding good, if not mind-blowing.

Allison Iraheta
"Blame It on Your Heart" (Patty Loveless)
Somewhere between last week and this, I listened to Allison's "Give In to Me" about a dozen times and she became my clear favorite of Season 8. This was another excellent performance, though I couldn't tell you a single word of that song if asked to recall it now. I love the ones who completely come alive in a performance, and Allison's stage presence not only sheds the 16-year-old image but also runs counter to the pageanty kind of hyper-self-possessed way most teens appear on this show. Simon called her "precocious" and I don't think he could be more wrong.

Kris Allen
"To Make You Feel My Love" (~~Garth Brooks~~)
Oy. Not a Garth Brooks song! It's a Bob Dylan song originally, covered by Billy Joel and Adele and, yes, Garth, but if you want to hear the song done heartbreakingly right, track down the Joan Osborne version, will you? (Also, Bruce Springsteen and Patti Smith wrote "Because the Night," did you know??) Anyway, it's not as bad as Blake Lewis lying to our faces and saying that "When the Stars Go Blue" was a Tim McGraw song, but still. As for Kris, he's so cute I could die, and if there were still such a thing as boy bands (albeit boy bands who don't dance), he'd be in the world's greatest one. Another clever performance, even if the stool-sitting and some of the runs were kind of gross.

Lil Rounds
"Independence Day" (Martina McBride)
I wasn't so sure about Lil's choice to tug on Superman's cape and cover Carrie's Favorite Song, but while the verses were shaky, the chorus was strong. Weirdly enough, Paula's critique about how the verse-verse-chorus arrangement didn't help Lil was spot on -- wouldn't a verse-chorus-bridge-chorus (does "Independence Day" even have a bridge?) structure have been better? I say yes. I also love how Simon seems to honestly believe that it's "Lil' Rounds" like Lil' Kim. I mean, god knows I've been saying it that way, but I realize it's Lil-short-for-Lillian not Lil-short-for-Little. Simon, apparently, does not.

Adam Lambert
"Ring of Fire" (Johnny Cash)
WTF?

Scott McIntyre
"Wild Angel" (Martina McBride)
When Ryan said Scott would be singing Martina, I was so sure he would be singing either "Concrete Angel" or that one about how "God is great but sometimes life ain't good" that I would have lost money on it. Anyway, another bland, sappy performance from Scott.

Alexis Grace
"Jolene" (Dolly Parton +2)
Better than Brooke's version last year, though that's not saying much. I didn't like the arrangement, that's for sure, and at times I didn't like Alexis's performance either. I can't really pinpoint why. Maybe I just can't accept any covers of this song that aren't Jack White's.

Danny Gokey
"Jesus Take the Wheel" (Carrie Underwood +2)
OF COURSE! Of course Danny sang this song. At least Carrie's version, while unbelievably embarrassing because of all the words, at least sounds genuine, and her voice really is dynamite on that chorus, much as I'd like to resist it. Anyway, all that "PYT" goodwill? Right out the window. Soulless God-baiting in a douchey white coat from Danny. I'm sure he'll get crazy votes for it.

Anoop Desai
"You Were Always on My Mind" (Willie Nelson)
So it seems Anoop's performances are divided between the Brian McKnight ones and the Bobby Brown ones. Of the two McKnights he's done, this was the better. Very pretty to listen to, if a bit hollow.

Megan Corkrey
"Walkin' After Midnight" (Patsy Cline)
This song SHOULD have been a good choice for her, and if you only listened to certain parts, it kind of was. I have no idea what is wrong with her, though, because I'm pretty sure her technique was solid here, but the voice that comes out of her mouth is so unpleasant! That can't be just the flu, either, because it's been that way for four performances now. She sounds like a demon from the underworld sent to serenade us across the river Styx. Naturally, the judges loved her.

Matt Giraud (last, +3)
"So Small" (Carrie Underwood +2)
Yes! This is the Matt performance I've been waiting for. Controlled, tuneful, committed, and oh so pretty to my earholes. I kept waiting for him to pull a Lambert and trill all over the last thirty seconds or so, but he held back, to great effect. Best of the night, worthy of the pimp slot.

Best Three: Matt, Allison, Anoop
Worst Three: Megan, Scott, Danny
WTF?: Adam (Though, seriously, I hope he sticks around to freak out America for weeks to come.)

Who's Going Home: The three worst this week were either sympathetic faves (Scott, Danny) or propped up by the judges (Megan), so this could spell trouble for Michael or Kris or (I don't even want to say it) Allison. That #2 slot is cursed for a reason.

Week 4 Standings

2009-03-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Points This Week:
Alexis +8
Lil +7
Anoop +3
Megan +3
Everybody else besides Jasmine and Jorge: +5
Michael Jackson +5
Kelly Clarkson +2

Since this was a Bottom 4 situation split up in two, Anoop and Megan get -2, and Kelly Clarkson pickers got a happy surprise with her appearance last night. As for the standings, Andrew takes sole possession of first place, Aaron Cameron shakes off two seasons of Joanne Borgellas and Amy Krebses and is within a wisp of the top, and we've got our first pool entrant to lose all three contestants. However, since that entry belongs to a cat, all human beings are still alive!

Points to Date:
Andrew -- 43
Aaron -- 41
Brian Corridan -- 41
Stephanie -- 41
Vance -- 41

Brian H. #1 -- 40
Emily -- 39
John R. -- 39
Courtney -- 37
Liz -- 37
Melody -- 37
Robin -- 37
Tracie -- 37

Megan -- 36
Stephen -- 36
Jeff -- 34
Joe -- 33
Gabriel -- 32
Dave B. -- 31
Sarah -- 31
Chad -- 30

Mark B. -- 29
Angela -- 27
David O. -- 27
Kristeen -- 27
Anna Beth -- 26
Kristi -- 25
Marc H. -- 24

Linda -- 23
Mary -- 23
Rick -- 23
Brian Cool -- 22
DeAnn -- 22
Dylan -- 22
Katie -- 22

Brian H. #2 -- 20
Denise -- 20
Kim -- 20
Kyle -- 19
Marnie -- 17
John H. -- 13
Gretta -- 9

This Is The Stupidest Idea Since Clay Aiken

2009-03-11T19:45:00.001-07:00

Seriously, I realize it's all going to be old news in about ten minutes, how stupid of an idea the "Judges' Save" is, but that is a REALLY stupid idea. Everybody who has it in his or her head that the judges and the show try to run everything to get the result now have AN ARGUMENT in their favor, which will only make them worse.

Whoever wins will have an asterisk by his or her name if he or she is "saved," and rightly so. There's a weird kind of fake integrity to actually counting votes, and if it means Tamyra Gray goes home, then...that's what happens. Suck it, America -- do a better job next time.

But speaking of Tamyra Gray, she couldn't have benefited from this anyway, because it's only good until final five -- whether that means you can be when there are five or only when there are six wasn't clear to me, but whatever. Wouldn't have mattered.

And what's wrong with surprises? I like Jennifer Hudson's story. I like the fact that what it takes to win American Idol isn't the same as what it takes to sell a record; that doesn't bother me. I don't see the failure to keep Chris Daughtry as a failure by the audience; it's just...unpredictability, which isn't a bad thing, right? How is there any such thing as the audience being wrong? It's one of the things I like about this show, and it's kind of like final tribal council in that way. You can vote however you want, and winning is just winning.

Combine that with the fact that it means that Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey are guaranteed to be F2 because they are going to get a free bad week nobody else is going to get, and it seriously sucks. Seriously.

Top 13: Performances

2009-03-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

It's Michael Jackson night, which means a +5 ceiling for MJ pickers and no song points for anyone else, so that's kinda boring. I understand why they try to keep the themes at Top 12 (13, this year) broad, so singers aren't forced into weird and uncomfortable genres before they've had a chance to establish themselves in front of America. Michael Jackson fits that because his songs are just pop songs, no more, no less. But here's the thing about Michael Jackson: his songs, in and of themselves, are not that great. I'll admit I'm not as huge a fan of his as many are, but come on. His appeal is all in the performance, and some of these songs are dull at best, inspid at worst.

Which made two solid hours and thirteen performances worth of these songs pretty damn excruciating. Performers like Lil, Michael, Matt, and Adam were fine but nothing special. I actually thought Danny (much as I continue to dislike him personally) gave the best performance, with all the energy and enthusiasm that I think I was supposed to feel last week with Anoop (whose "Beat It," by the way, was pretty much interchangeable with his "My Prerogative" yet everybody seemed to hate it this week).

On the flip side, Megan was really the only truly awful performance. I mean, Jasmine was forgettable, and Jorge (aka The Nyez, aka The Fancy Nancy from Puerto Rancy) was monstrously cheesy, but Megan's performance reminded me of that honky-tonk Beatles song Kristy Lee tried last season. I couldn't look at her. Speeeeeaking of which, and I'll acknowledge the irony upfront, I don't think I can look at Scott McIntyre anymore either. The ever-more-Garfunkelian hair is one thing, but if he's going to sing songs about dreams and climbing the highest mountains and self-esteem, I'm going to be embarassed for all of us. Oh, and Kris's performance was pretty bad, on balance, mostly because of the bizarre decision to play acoustic guitar along with what sounded like the actual backing track from the original version of "Remember the Time." So weird.

Besides Danny, my two other favorites were easily Alexis and Allison, even if Allison seemed like she was coasting. Which might've worked in her favor because it kept her from blowing her vocal cords out unnecessarily. Alexis was awesome (though the song, "Dirty Diana," only made me long for Project Runway Season 2), and while I get Paula's cautions about oversinging, I didn't think it hampered her one bit. She continues to dress like a cheap floozy, but I blame Kara for that one.

Some choice judge quotes this week: Paula telling Danny that he's awesome because if you close your eyes you can still hear him singing. You guys, nobody tell Paula about the concept of the radio without easing her into it, okay? Randy actually called Kris's performance a "very well job done." Indeed. Kara said she hoped Michael Jackson was watching Adam's performance, which: dear god NO! Adam Lambert seems way too inside MJ's wheelhouse for my comfort. And, of course, Simon and Ryan implied that the entire system of America voting on the contestants would be thrown out the window this season in favor of greater judges' control, because apparently Megan Corkrey needs to win American Idol this year. But I don't even want to talk about that beyond saying BAD IDEA!

Best Three: Danny, Alexis, Allison
Worst Three: Megan, Jorge, Scott

Points Tonight:
Michael Jackson: +5
Alexis Grace: +3 (sang last)
Lil Rounds: +2 (sang first)

Two going home tomorrow. Boring always goes before bad at this stage, so I wouldn't feel safe if I were Michael, Jasmine, Kris, or Matt.

I Almost Forgot!

2009-03-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

My absolute favorite moment from last night! When Simon was critiquing...maybe Matt? Not sure it matters. Anyway, and Simon said that Matt (?) was creeping into Taylor Hicks territory. And immediately, every judge and audience member did the following: recoiled, grimaced, and let fly with their very vocal objections that Simon could be so cruel as to tar anyone with the brush of Taylor Hicks. I love you all!

Week 3 Standings

2009-03-06T05:33:00.000-08:00

Points this week (...deep breath):

Lil +10 (+5, +3 sang last, +3 top female)
Anoop +7 (+1 picked to perform on Wild Card, +3 sang last, +3 Wild Card selection)
Jorge +5
Scott +5
Jasmine +4 (+1 picked to perform on Wild Card, +3 Wild Card selection)
Matt +4 (ditto)
Megan +4 (ditto)
Von +3 (+2 sang first, +1 picked to perform on WC)
Jessie +3 (ditto)
Tatiana +1
Ricky +1

Elton John +6 (3 songs)
Alicia Keys +4 (2 songs)
Whitney Houston +2
Stevie Wonder +2
Michael Jackson +2

CURRENT STANDINGS

Andrew -- 26
Brian Corridan -- 26
Stephanie -- 24
Vance -- 24

Aaron -- 23
Emily -- 23
Gabriel -- 22
Jeff -- 21
Sarah -- 21
Stephen -- 21

Brian H. #1 -- 20
Courtney -- 20
Joe -- 20
Melody -- 20
Robin -- 20

John R. -- 19
Mark B. -- 19
Chad -- 19
Liz -- 18
Tracie -- 18

Angela -- 17
Dylan -- 17
Anna Beth -- 16
Linda -- 16
Megan -- 16
Kristi -- 15

Dave B. -- 14
DeAnn -- 14
Kyle -- 14
Rick -- 13

David O. -- 12
Kristeen -- 12
Marc H. -- 12
Marnie -- 12
Brian Cool -- 10
Denise -- 10
Katie -- 10
Kim -- 10

Gretta -- 9
Mary -- 8
Brian H. #2 -- 7
John H. -- 6

Hide Your Stilettos (Wild Card SPOILERS)

2009-03-05T18:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, Tatiana affecting the heavy Latina accent tonight might have been the craziest thing yet. She totally didn't have it before, and you KNOW she only did it because Jorge got so much praise for it (and got voted through) last night. She even cribbed his "thinking in Spanish and speaking in English" line! The girl is diabolical. I'm starting to get images of "Jorge" stepping out to perform next week, only it's Tatiana with Jorge's face hanging loosely atop her own as she belts "Saving All My Love for You" through his mouth hole. (props to Mark for helping me work out that particular imagery)

Anyway, your wild card selections are:

Jasmine Murray
Megan Corkrey
Matt Giraud
Anoop Desai

So my prediction of four wild cards came true. For the record, I'd have put through Matt, Jessie, Ricky, and (I guess) Anoop. Megan and Jasmine both showed their limitations (Megan's are way more severe than Jasmine's, but Jasmine was totally unremarkable), but at least it wasn't Tatiana, y'all.

I'll say right now that I totally don't get the whole Anoop thing, though I kind of understand why others would. And I thought Simon was probably at his season-worst tonight, giving completely bullshitty whitewashes to Megan and Jasmine.

Anyway, points (lots of 'em) and standings to come later on. Now get those third-contestant picks emailed to me!

Group 3 Results (SPOILERS) and Wild Card Field

2009-03-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

Making the Top 12 from Group 3 are:

Lil Rounds
Scott McIntyre
Jorge Nunez

I know I said this morning that it was basically Lil and Everyone Else last night, but even still, Scott and Jorge are pretty uninspired choices. Though beyond Felicia, I'm not sure who I would rather have seen in their spots, so whatever. Clearly this was the weakest of the three groups.

Your 8 Wild Card hopefuls are:

Von Smith
Jasmine Murray
Ricky Braddy
Megan Joy Corkrey
Tatiana Del Toro
Matt Giraud
Jessie Langseth
Anoop Desai

And so die the hopes of Felicia Barton (sad!), Ju'not Joyner (...I guess), and my beloved Alex Wagner-Trugman. We also bid adieu to Norman Gentle, which means I can go back to liking him again.

Of this group, my clear preferences would be for Jessie, Matt, and Tatiana.

Kidding! Jessie, Matt, and whichever one of Jasmine/Ricky/Megan brings it the strongest. I predict, though, it'll be Jasmine, Megan, and Anoop.

I also would not be surprised in the least if they threw in a surprise 13th finalist. It might help better deal with the gender imbalance that's developed, and it would allow the "each judge picks one Wild Card of their own" tradition to live on with four judges. Of course, if that 13th finalist is Tatiana, I'm out.

(...probably not.)

Never in my LIFE

2009-03-04T18:30:00.000-08:00

...did I think they would stoop so low as to bring back Tatiana Del Toro. And here's the thing, besides that she's hateful: this is LIVE TELEVISION most of the time. This is like bringing Mickey Rourke on as a guest judge: just, no! Bad call!

Top 36, Group 3: Recap

2009-03-04T04:53:00.000-08:00

A whole lot of mediocre this week. Which means beyond Lil (slam dunk) and Taylor, Arianna, Nathaniel, and Alex (no shot), I have zero idea who's advancing.

Von Smith (+2, sang first)
"You're All I Need to Get By"
No, it's not Von's fault that I couldn't stop thinking about Kelly Clarkson's totally excellent performance of this song from Season 1, but still. Von should maybe not be saying "sho nuff" at any time. He also might sound weirder trying to supress his foghorn of a voice than just belting it out. I still think grandmas everywhere will vote for him, though, and the judges totally praised him.

Taylor Vaifanua
"If I Ain't Got You" (+2, Alicia Keys)
Poor Taylor, who I have always loved, looked like she had reached the ceiling of what she could do this week. Simon was full of shit when he pretended not to remember her later on in the show, but his point is well taken: she's done.

Alex Wagner-Trugman
"I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" (+2, Elton John)
What a weird, wonderful little performance. I mean, not "wonderful" from a vocal standpoint, but how can you not totally love this kid? I'm starting to understand how we get Sanjayas or Kevin Covaises, because I realize the singing was mediocre at best, but I totally want him to succeed. He won't, though.

Arianna Afsar
"The Winner Takes It All"
Aw, Linda. Sad. Arianna could have helped you out by preserving some semblance of a melody from the song, rather than just blurting it out three words at a time and shouting. Hopefully her grandfriends will be there to comfort her when she doesn't advance.

Ju'not Joyner
"Hey There Delilah"
The judges were all sorts of up his ass, even though I found the performance totally snooze-inducing. Plus, he talked about "respecting the original artist" or some such craziness that should never be spoken when the artist in question are the Pain White Ts.

Kristen McNamara
"Give Me One Reason"
Nice bunchy flower epaulets, a-hole. Even more infuriating was that she doesn't technically suck as a singer, but all her other bullshit converges to make her no less excruciating to listen to.

Nathaniel Marshall
"I Would Do Anything For Love"
First of all, how do you try to cram all 25 minutes of this song into the time span of an Idol performance? Second of all: yikes. Third of all, I think Simon set the land speed record for homophobic comments in his critique and yet he STILL managed to be nicer to the kid than I expected. I think I like Nathaniel's overdramatic ass (when he's not exasperating me), but -- much like his own grandmother -- I don't care for his singing.

Felicia Barton
"No One" (+2, Alicia Keys)
I like her a lot, but she oversang this song. Which is too bad, because that YouTube video of her singing this on a boardwalk somewhere is actually really good. I think she got caught up in trying to impress the judges with a bunch of ill-advised flourishes. She was still pretty good, though, and I think the judges like her comeback story enough that they're pulling for her. I would be totally fine with her advancing, particularly from this largely uninspiring group.

Scott McIntyre
"Mandolin Rain"
Wow, Bruce Hornsby. Somebody call my dad. Scott's fine and all, but I just don't find his voice the least bit interesting. He's probably the front-runner for the Top Guy slot this week, but I'm not thrilled about it.

Kendall Beard
"This One's For the Girls"
Red meat for the country fans? Very possibly. I'm more hung up on her claims that she's 24 and not 16 years old. Wild.

Jorge Nunez
"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" (+2, Elton John)
Okay, the entirely of Season 7 had ZERO Elton John songs, and now we've got two in one night? That's some bullshit. Anyway, Jorge was -- like almost everyone tonight -- totally fine and not all that interesting. But the judges' totally over the top, bordering on offensively condescending critique may have pushed some votes his way.

Lil Rounds (+3, sang last)
"Be Without You"
THAT'S more like it. She'd barely sung three bars of the song before I declared her the best of the night, so much was the separation between Lil and the pack. I was iffy on her after the over-praised "I Will Always Love You" in Hollywood, but she's totally won me back. This was overpraised too, but only because the judges were ridiculous. Lil was still awesome. Loved the song choice, the way she held back, the way she already carries herself like a star onstage (only she and Adam have that so far). Very, very few people could get away with that "call this show if you can't be without me" lyric change without me getting annoyed, but Lil pulled it off.

I honestly have no idea who to predict. If I had my druthers, it'd be Lil, Felicia, and I guess Alex or Von (slim pickings among the guys this week -- if the women can't get 2/3 this week, something's wrong). But I expect Lil, Scott, and either Felicia, Ju'not, or Kendall. Or Jorge or Von. Or Kristen, god help us all.

I Have Come To Collect My Props For Selecting Arianna Afsar

2009-03-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

GIVE IT UP! GIVE IT UP!

Only I knew how great Arianna Afsar was going to be. Did anyone else see her coming? No. Did anyone else know that "The Winner Takes It All" would be the greatest performance in Idol history? I don't think so.

Why, I knew when I saw those chipmunk cheeks and heard that she had created an adopt-a-grandparent program, she was the best. She will now sail through to the finals, which should be very easy since there were no women giving blockbuster performances at all, especially not late in the show, and then she will dominate every week, and then she will be your American Idol. She will get a record deal, she will sail to the top of the charts, and she will perform a duet with Kanye West on the 2011 Grammy Awards.

Mark my words. Mark 'em down!

I HAVE COME FOR MY PROPS!

Breaking News!

2009-03-02T10:44:00.000-08:00

(hat tip to Corridan for alerting me to the bombshell)

So apparently Adam makes out the same way he sings.

It will be awfully interesting to see the way this is handled (or not handled, though I doubt we'll be that lucky) in the mainstream press and by the show itself. If this is treated as a "scandal" that Adam's online with his tongue in another dude's mouth, I'm going to be annoyed. And nothing will get me unambiguously on Team Lambert faster than a homophobic backlash.

Seriously, though, this can't be a shock to anybody with at least one functioning eyeball, right? Even the hardcore Claymate types had to be like, "I can't even pretend on this one."

I've been trying to figure it out, and this is what I've come up with...

2009-02-27T08:05:00.001-08:00

Joe was wrong: Casey Carlson isn't this year's Haley Scarnato. Kris Allen is.

Mark my words.

Week 2 Standings

2009-02-27T07:26:00.000-08:00

Sarah -- 21
Jeff -- 19
Joe -- 18

Aaron -- 15
Andrew -- 14
Melody -- 14
Angela -- 13

Brian Corridan -- 12
Chad -- 12
DeAnn -- 12
Emily -- 12
Kyle -- 12
Stephen -- 12
Brian H. #1 -- 11

Brian Cool -- 10
Courtney -- 10
Dave B. -- 10
Dylan -- 10
Gabriel -- 10
Katie -- 10
Kim -- 10
Linda -- 10
Marc H. -- 10
Mark B. -- 10
Stephanie -- 10
Vance -- 10

John R. -- 9
David O. -- 8
Kristeen -- 8
Marnie -- 8
Brian H. #2 -- 7
Anna Beth -- 6

Kristi -- 4
Rick -- 4
Robin -- 4
Denise -- 2
John H. -- 2
Liz -- 2
Mary -- 2
Tracie -- 2
Gretta -- 0
Megan -- 0

Point Roundup, Week 2

2009-02-26T19:02:00.000-08:00

Seacrest continues to be the bane of my existence, giving me absolutely nothing to go on as far as Lambert being the top guy. I mean, we can all intuit that he is, because duh, but without any clue, like last week, I can't really give out those bonus points. Too bad, too, because I want 'em.

Adam Lambert: +8 (+5 for advancing, +3 for singing last)
Allison Iraheta: +7 (+5 for advancing, +2 for being the top girl)
Kris Allen: +5 (for advancing)
Jasmine Murray: +2 (sang first)
Heart: +2 ("Alone")
Michael Jackson: ("Man in the Mirror")

It should be noted that, with Allison, the Heart Boon continues its mighty streak: No performer has ever been eliminated after singing a Heart song.

I'll post the standings in a few. Basically, all the Matt Giraud and Jasmine Murray pickers got boned this week. I'm still pretty confident they'll be given every opportunity in the Wild Card round (especially Matt). Considering one person picked Allison (Jeff Long, I don't even know) and no one picked Kris, there weren't a lot of points to be had this week. Just the Lambert pickers moving up. Next week, it's the Lil Rounds Brigade's time to shine.

Also, remember that after next Thursday's Wild Card show, you get to pick one additional contestant. That pick needs to get to me by Tuesday (afternoon) March 10.

A Parting Shot

2009-02-26T18:41:00.000-08:00

Before Mishavona Henson leaves the collective American consciousness, I need to mention that I just realized that she looks exactly like Juliet "Drusilla" Landau from Buffy. I can't be the first to say this, but I haven't seen it anywhere on the internet today. Best of luck, Mishavonna!

Top 36, Group 2: Recap

2009-02-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

Topsy-turvy kind of week where the people we know were largely underwhelming, and the people we didn't know where kind of awesome. What that means for tomorrow's results I have zero idea, but I'm kind of very psyched to find out. I'm not proud.

Jasmine Murray (+2, sang first)
"Love Song"
Jasmine's going to be an interesting test case. She was totally underwhelming, but she got way more attention before tonight than most of this group. Does that help her the way it helped Michael Sarver last week?

Matt Giraud
"Viva La Vida"
Much as I love this song, it made for a maddeningly poor choice for someone I had very much liked up until now. But I think he's in the same boat as Jasmine, with a lot of exposure before tonight.

Jeanine Vales (..."Vales"? "Vale"? Whatever)
"This Love"
Bad song, bad performance, heretofore unseen contestant ... I don't need to devote any more mental real estate to her, right?

Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle
"And I Am Telling You"
...Sigh. Here's the thing: I think I would very much enjoy knowing Nick Mitchell in real life. But the Norman Gentle act on this show is beyond tired. I find him likeable and even entertaining, but it's just the same thing, for weeks now. From him and the judges. And I'm weary. And while I totally don't expect him to get through tomorrow, I entirely expect him to make the wild card show.

Allison Iraheta
"Alone" (+2 Heart)
Gah! The best. My favorite of the night by a mile, even while singing such a staple of this show. She's got a truly bizarre personality, though; of course, maybe that's just the nervous 16-year-old in her. But that might be an obstacle to her going the full distance. Still, by all rights she should make it to the finals, easily.

Kris Allen
"Man in the Mirror" (+2, Michael Jackson)
I could pretend to lead off with his voice (quite good, all things considered) or his song choice (dreadful -- I honestly can't remember anyone on this show delivering a good Michael Jackson performance). But who am I kidding? That is one fine-looking boy up there, and Simon desperately wants to sell him to some kind of marketplace. I just don't think he'll get the chance, sadly enough.

Megan Joy Corkrey
"Put Your Records On"
Didn't we all agree that Antonella Barba had given the definitive Corrine Bailey Rae performance on this show? Why mess with such great success? Seriously, though, I like her, and I want to see more of her, but that was a very spotty performance. But I felt like the excess praise from the judges kind of balanced the ledger for her total blackout in Hollywood, and I wouldn't be all that upset if she were put through.

Matt Brietzke
"If You Could Only See"
I'll tell you, it's not easy to deliver a less-dynamic version of a Tonic song, but Matt stepped up to the plate. Totally underwhelming in pretty much every way.

Jessie Langseth
"Bette Davis Eyes"
Oh my god, LOVE! I totally want to be her friend, if for the song choice alone. She performed it perfectly, but I'm not sure if that song gives someone on this show the opportunity to really grab votes. That said, I don't think Randy grasped the fact (you're shocked, I know) that actually appearing cool on a show like this is a tall order indeed. But Simon's right, too, that she may be too cool for school, given that the people who would like her (i.e., me) would never call in to this show.

Kai Kalama
"What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?"
Perfectly fine and perfectly nice and I totally didn't care.

Mishavonna Henson
"Drops of Jupiter"
Awful song, like, legendarily so. She sung it well enough, I suppose, but what of those thin, villainous lips?? Also, dig Paula totally ragging on "Drops of Jupiter" in the critique! Score!

Adam Lambert (+3, sang last)
"Satisfaction"
And so my rocky relationship with Adam Lambert begins. He's totally got the vocal chops, but he can sure do some irritating things with them. And I really hope he watches the tape back and realizes how completely too-much-by-half that eye-fucking was. And yet ... there was lots I liked, too, even with a song I have very little use for. I like the blend of theatricality he brings, and I feel like expecting him to rein it in would be both unrealistic and counterproductive to what the show wants from him (at least at this point). But I'm probably going to reflect Simon's take on him all season, that there much to love and much to cringe at.

As for who advanced, I'd like to see Allison, Jessie, and either Adam or Kris move on. In reality, it'll be Adam and two others from a pool of about 6 or 7 people. Allison Iraheta better goddamn be one of them, but I'm not 100% confident. Though if I were making bets (who bets on American Idol??), I'd say Adam, Allison, and Jasmine.

Nick/Norman

2009-02-25T18:42:00.000-08:00

The shame about this guy, to me, is that there is a good voice in there, and if he could find a way to average Crazy Norman who makes him feel safe, and like it's not really trying if it's all a big joke etc., and Nick, who has a sense of theater and can probably really sing? He'd be amazing.

But he feels like he can't, because he's not traditional girl-nip. It's too bad.

Week 1 Standings

2009-02-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

After further reflection, I'm giving the extra 2 bonus points to Danny and Alexis, since the show did go out of its way to present Michael as the second-place guy. Anyway, so Week 1 is in the books. Of course, not everybody has performed yet, so the scores are going to look a little lopsided, but I have to give props to Sarah Bunting for a fine first week and the first musical-artist points she's ever received in three seasons of this silly endeavor. Well done!

WEEK 1 STANDINGS

Sarah -- 21
Andrew -- 14
Melody -- 14

Brian Corridan -- 12
Chad -- 12
Emily -- 12
Jeff -- 12
Kyle -- 12
Stephen -- 12
Angela -- 11

Brian Cool -- 10
Courtney -- 10
Dave B. -- 10
Dylan -- 10
Joe -- 10
Katie -- 10
Kim -- 10
Linda -- 10
Marc -- 10
Vance -- 10

Aaron -- 7
Brian H. -- 7
Brian H. #2 -- 7
John R. -- 7

Anna Beth -- 4
DeAnn -- 4
Rick -- 4
Robin -- 4

Denise -- 2
John H. -- 2
Kristi -- 2
Liz -- 2
Mary -- 2
Stephanie -- 2
Tracie -- 2

David O. -- 0
Gabriel -- 0
Gretta -- 0
Kristeen -- 0
Mark -- 0
Marnie -- 0
Megan -- 0

So, Help Me Out Here...

2009-02-18T20:43:00.000-08:00

Did Ryan clarify that Gokey was the top vote-getter of the boys? And if not, is it fair to give Alexis points for being the top girl but none to either of the boys? Damn it, Ryan Seacrest, making my life more difficult!

Top 36, Group 1: Recap

2009-02-17T23:45:00.000-08:00

An odd group to kick things off, as there weren't a whole lot of truly awful performers (except poor Stevie), but also no one who really blew me away (except for Alexis). The silver lining was that Simon was totally on his game this week and not full of any bullshit. Unlike a certain other judge who I mostly liked except for her bullshittery with Tatiana and Danny. Anyway, onto the performances...

Jackie Tohn (+2, sang first)
"A Little Less Conversation" (+2, Elvis)
So apparently I'm like two degrees of separation from Jackie, which means I feel bad talking about how this girl just exhausts me. I do like that she calls Ryan Seacrest "dude," because you know that makes his brain start fritzing out. But I think the judges pretty much nailed her down: Good to see someone having fun up there, but the vocal was pretty negligible. She's not selling records with that act, but I'm sure she'll find some way to monetize her willingness to ass out like that.

Ricky Braddy
"A Song For You"
I don't think he made nearly enough of the impression he needed to make to overcome the fact that we've barely seen him on the show before (though he's already gotten more of a reaction from Idol watchers than I expected him to, so maybe I'm wrong). The vocal was awfully nice to listen to, though, and with that face he could sing to me every day if he wanted to. I do think, on the strength of the vocal, that he definitely put himself in good position to perform on the wild-card show, but I can't see him advancing tomorrow.

Alexis Grace
"Never Loved a Man" (+2, Aretha Franklin)
Easily my favorite vocal of the night, even though I worry about where this "dirty up your image" thing ultimately ends given the fright makeup and trashy dress she chose as tonight's costume. Lesson Number One in life is you don't let Paula Abdul dress you, and Alexis needs to remember that.

Brent Keith
"Hicktown"
I don't understand the country audience, and the Idol judges rarely do either (Simon's clairvoyance re: Carrie Underwood notwithstanding), but I can't imagine anyone being moved to vote after such a middle-of-the-road performance. I don't care how much you look like a model for jeans. Butch jeans, too, not those gay-ass Brody Jenner butt cleavage jeans.

Stevie Wright
"You Belong With Me" (+2, Taylor Swift)
Oh, this poor girl. I thought she was merely good-not-great in her audition, but I have to figure that more than 50% of this performance gets chalked up to nerves. She just sounded petrified. Kudos to Bunting for the clairvoyant Taylor Swift pick, though!

Anoop Desai
"Angel of Mine"
Monica! He sang a Monica song! That's hilarious. He didn't sound half-bad, either, and Paula made the no-brainer Brian McKnight comparison (hey, it worked for Archuleta). Simon nailed it when he called out Anoop's huge likeability factor, which will either get him through this week or, at worst, put him in contention for the wild card.

Casey Carlson
"Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" (+2, The Police)
Totally forgettable in every way. And as far as how allfire gorgeous she is, Paula, she seems totally generic. Bagging on song choice is famously overdone and usually just a copout for Paula and Randy to avoid knocking the actual performance, but this I honestly think was just WAY too much song for too little a voice.

Michael Sarver
"I Don't Want To Be"
Ohhhh, this was disappointing. He's definitely sounded better than this in earlier rounds, so this could be nerves, but it could also be a Sundance Head-like inability to perform on the Idol stage. I wouldn't rule out him getting votes based on reputation, but it's by no means a sure thing.

Anne Marie Boskovich
"Natural Woman" (+2, Aretha Franklin)
So Kara wrote "Love Song"? That's what all the "awkward!" hoopla was about after Anne Marie dissed it, right? Or was it just the fact that Anne Marie dissed the suggestion? Sucks if it's the latter, because Kara's thin-skinnedness with the contestants is probably my least favorite quality of hers. Anyway, too big of a song to bite off if you're not going to nail it, and she didn't.

Stephen Fowler
"Rock With You" (+2, Michael Jackson)
Has anyone ever done well with this song? I feel like there's some kind of Guarini precedent here, but I couldn't swear to it. Anyway, any memory of him was immediately swallowed up by the two-headed beast that is Tatiana and Danny, so I don't give him much of a shot.

Tatiana Del Toro
"Saving All My Love For You" (+2, Whitney Houston)
God damn it, that was pretty good. I still have no idea how voters are gonna react to her -- if she ends up as the top female vote-getter, I would not be surprised. At the very least, she's a shoo-in for a wild card. I could have smacked the judges (particularly Kara, who you'd hope would know better but she's proved a few times now that she doesn't) for encouraging the re-emergence of Tatiana the Asshole, but that's kind of the theme of this season. Case in point...

Danny Gokey (+3, sang last)
"Hero"
He's got a great voice, I will reiterate that here. It's what makes him as barely tolerable to me as he is. But he can't ever keep that smarmy nature of his at bay for very long. And this show is going to encourage that at every turn, until Simon mentions it once at, like Top 9, but by then it'll be way too late to do anything about it. Anyway, if you have money to put on Danny as the top male vote-getter tomorrow, put it down.

If I'm making predictions for tomorrow, I'd guess that Danny, Alexis, and either Michael, Anoop, or Tatiana to advance, and Ricky to join the two who don't on the Wild Card show.

Point Roundup:
Jackie Tohn +2
Danny Gokey +3
Aretha Franklin +4
Elvis +2
Taylor Swift +2
The Police +2
Michael Jackson +2
Whitney Houston +2

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Pool Field

2009-02-17T20:50:00.000-08:00

Aaron Cameron: Adam Lambert, Alexis Grace, Danny Gokey (Stevie Wonder, Elton John)
Anna Beth Chao: Matt Giraud, Jasmine Murray, Scott McIntyre (Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin)
Andrew Byrne: Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert (Whitney Houston, The Police)
Angela Oestrich: Michael Sarver, Jasmine Murray, Danny Gokey (Elvis Presley, Aretha Franklin)
Brian Cool: Danny Gokey, Felicia Barton, Lil Rounds (Bob Dylan, Ray Charles)
Brian Corridan: Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds, Anoop Desai (Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston)
Brian Herrera: Michael Sarver, Anoop Desai, Lil Rounds (Heart, Michael Jackson)
Brian Herrera (#2): Alexis Grace, Alex Wagner-Trugman, Alison Iraheta (Dolly Parton, Dionne Warwick)
Chad Kaydo: Jackie Tohn, Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds (Debbie Gibson, Elton John)
Courtney Potter: Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey, Matt Giraud (Journey, Celine Dion)
Dave Bunting: Matt Giraud, Danny Gokey, Alison Iraheta (Prince, Kelly Clarkson)
David Ozanich: Matt Giraud, Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey (Billy Joel, Paul Simon)
DeAnn Welker: Adam Lambert, Brent Keith, Anoop Desai (Whitney Houston, The Police)
Denise Thompson: Matt Giraud, Casey Carlson, Danny Gokey (Whitney Houston, Stevie Wonder)
Dylan Dargavel: Tatiana Del Toro, Danny Gokey, Jasmine Murray (Madonna, Elton John)
Emily Reid: Anoop Desai, Danny Gokey, Alexis Grace (Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston)
Gabriel Shanks: Adam Lambert, Jasmine Murray, Danny Gokey (Stevie Wonder, Elton John)
Gretta Cool: Tatiana Del Toro, Nathaniel Marshall, Jorge Nunez (Stevie Wonder, Elton John)
Jeff Long: Allison Iraheta, Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai (Whitney Houston, Phil Collins)
Joe Reid: Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai (Stevie Wonder, Celine Dion)
John Higgins: Anne Marie Boskovich, Jackie Tohn, Allison Iraheta (Kelly Clarkson, Alicia Keys)
John Ramos: Matt Giraud, Alexis Grace, Lil Rounds (Heart, Elton John)
Katie Doherty: Anne Marie Boskovich, Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds (Bruce Springsteen, Celine Dion)
Kim Reed: Kristin McNamara, Danny Gokey, Scott McIntyre (Carrie Underwood, Lionel Richie)
Kristeen Cool: Matt Giraud, Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey (The Doors, The Beatles)
Kristi Turnquist: Scott McIntyre, Jasmine Murray, Adam Lambert (Whitney Houston, Carrie Underwood)
Kyle Czerwinski: Kendall Beard, Danny Gokey, Jasmine Murray (Whitney Houston, Bryan Adams)
Linda Holmes: Arianna Afsar, Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai (Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys)
Liz Reid: Matt Giraud, Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey (Whitney Houston, Kelly Clarkson)
Marc Hirsh: Anne Marie Boskovich, Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds (Stevie Wonder, U2)
Mark Blankenship: Adam Lambert, Von Smith, Allison Iraheta (Heart, Elton John)
Marnie Davis: Adam Lambert, Jasmine Murray, Jorge Nunez (Prince, Barbra Streisand)
Mary Clifton: Matt Giraud, Kendall Beard, Alexis Grace (Whitney Houston, Kelly Clarkson)
Megan Lynn: Matt Giraud, Lil Rounds, Alexis Grace (Stevie Wonder, Carrie Underwood)
Melody Kokoszka: Matt Giraud, Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds (Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin)
Rick Hickman: Kai Kalama, Anoop Desai, Lil Rounds (Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin)
Robin Hilton: Matt Giraud, Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey (Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin)
Sarah Bunting: Michael Sarver, Danny Gokey, Jorge Nunez (Taylor Swift, Aretha Franklin)
Stephanie Oura: Lil Rounds, Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey (Stevie WOnder, Whitney Houston)
Stephen Thompson: Anoop Desai, Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds (Whitney Houston, The Beatles)
Tracie Potochnik: Matt Giraud, Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey (Whitney Houston, Kelly Clarkson)
Vance Hues: Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert (John Mayer, Alicia Keys)

I'll do stats once we've all picked our third, but clearly we collectively are liking Danny Gokey, Matt Giraud, Lil Rounds, Adam Lambert, and Jasmine Murray.

The Matter Of The Goke

2009-02-17T19:40:00.000-08:00

As much as I would like to hate the guy who's been cast as this year's "I can sing every ballad about my heart straight from my heart because of the sad thing that happened to my heart" contestant, I don't hate Danny Gokey as much as I thought I would.

I mean...okay. "Hero." I get it. But he seemed kind of embarrassed by the reactions from Paula and Kara (AS WAS APPROPRIATE), and he also did that song only about 50 percent as histrionically as he could have, and 60 percent as histronically as several early contenders did tonight.

I would like to get the copyright at this moment on all versions of "Gokey Is Okey-Dokey." And the first time you see that sign, remember the moment Linda warned you about how stupid American Idol audience members are.

Also "The Goke Is Okey-Doke," etc. etc. etc. All variations. Don't try to steal my idea.

The Ballad Of Ricky Braddy

2009-02-17T19:29:00.001-08:00

So, Ricky Braddy, no one on this godforsaken planet has a foggy clue who you are. No more than two of the six guys performing tonight can get through, based on the rules, and you'll be sharing a stage with five of the best-known contenders -- including David Archuleta's preachy uncle, who gets more face time in any given montage sequence than you've gotten all season. Oh, and did I mention that you'll be singing second out of twelve?

It's a conspiracy, I say! A conspiracy against Ricky Braddy! I call bullshit on the forces trying to keep Ricky Braddy down!

Top 36!

2009-02-12T17:33:00.000-08:00

The Top 36 were announced last night. Time to make your picks!

[Note that between last night's episode and today, Joanna Pacitti was booted and replaced by Felicia something-or-other. Who seems pretty good, but she's gotten no screen time, so who knows if she has a chance in hell of making it.]

GUYS
Kris Allen
Ricky Braddy*
Matt Breitzke
Anoop Desai
Stephen Fowler*
Matt Giraud
Danny Gokey
Ju'Not Joyner*
Kai Kalama
Brent Keith
Adam Lambert
Scott MacIntyre
Nathaniel Marshall
Nick "Norman Gentle" Mitchell
Jorge Nuñez
Michael Sarver
Von Smith
Alex Wagner-Trugman

GIRLS
Arianna Afsar
Felicia Barton*
Kendall Beard*
Anne Marie Boskovich
Casey Carlson
Megan Corkrey
Tatiana Del Toro
Alexis Grace
Mishavonna Henson*
Allison Iraheta*
Jesse Langseth
Kristen McNamara
Jasmine Murray
Lil Rounds
Jackie Tohn
Taylor Vaifanua
Jeanine Vailes*
Stevie Wright

[Contestants with a * mean I haven't talked about them here on the blog at all. Click the link at the top of the post for pics and other good memory-jogging stuff at the official Idol site.]

They've also announced the first semifinal group, who will sing next week (they haven't yet announced the other 2 groups):

Alexis Grace
Anne Marie Boskovich
Anoop Desai
Brent Keith
Casey Carlson
Danny Gokey
Jackie Tohn
Matt Breitzke
Ricky Braddy
Stephen Fowler
Stevie Wright
Tatiana Del Toro

Maybe she'll change her name to Tatiana LaBelle

2009-02-11T21:54:00.001-08:00

I predict!

Tatiana is going to sing next week in Semifinals Group 1; she will not be voted through.

She will then be selected for the wildcard group; she will not be voted through.

She will then be one of the judges' picks (Paula, most likely) for the top 12; she will be the first one voted out. Unlike what would happen if she simply vanishes during the semis, this will have the advantage of providing us with the spectacle of a singout that will be a trainwreck so spectacular that it will make the end of The General look like the end of The Wrong Trousers.

I predict!

Meet the Top 75: Hollywood Week 1

2009-02-07T13:04:00.001-08:00

Two rounds of cuts during this week's Hollywood episodes. Two rounds of cuts to go. A good handful of people I'd expected to get through did not (Rose Fleck; David Osmond; Austin Sisneros), but the picture is becoming a bit clearer. Here's a roundup of the people we know made it through to the top 75; which ones furthered their cause and which ones look suckier.

FAMILIAR FACES

Name? Tatiana Del Toro (23, San Juan, PR)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That Tatiana is 100 billion times more awful than we ever thought possible.
For real? Along with Nick/Norman (below), Tatiana is the "Fun is fun, but they won't really put her in the Top 36, will they?" contestant.

Name? Adam Lambert (26, Hollywood, CA)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That he's a total powerhouse, kind of an oversinger, and has charisma for days.
For real? I'd put money on it.

Name? Matt Giraud (23, Kalamazoo, MI)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That my weird interest in Matt is only because he's totally awesome. He was part of that awesome "I Want You Back" group that kicked off the group auditions.
For real? I really hope so; he's one of my favorites.

Name? Alexis Grace (20, Memphis, TN)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? Not a whole lot, actually. But she was put through twice.
For real? I still say yes, but more screen time would help.

Name? Jasmine Murray (17. Brookhaven, MS)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That she's a survivor. Came out of Bikini Girl/Rose Fleck group implosion smelling like a ...well, rose.
For real? I definitely think so. She's managed a lot of screentime without looking like a big, sucky jerk.

Name? Ann Marie Boskovich (23, Nashville, TN)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? I'm not sure. We either learned that she's not as good as we thought, or just that she can't entire redeem sucky group chemistry all on her own.
For real? I'm more dubious now than I used to be.

Name? Megan Corkrey (23, Sandy, UT)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? Not a ton. We didn't get to see her sing much, but the show made a point of letting us know she's still around.
For real? I think we'll be seeing a bunch of her this coming week, so yes.

Name? Taylor Vaifanua (16, Salt Lake City, UT)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? She's good with the group singing, but she can't overshadow the focus-pulling desperation of Danny "Dead Wife" Gokey.
For real? I certainly hope so, but I'm getting the feeling I'm the only one who knows who she is.

Name? Jorge Nuñez (20, Carolina, PR)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? He's still only marginally talented.
For real? I'm starting to wonder if he might be.

Name? Jackie Tohn (27, Silver Lake, CA)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? She's just as irritating and attention-starved as we thought she was when she auditioned, if not more so.
For real? Sadly, I think so.

Name? Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle (27, Brookfield, CT)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That the judges felt like having some comic relief around for one more round, and that the producers didn't feel like showing us his group performance, during which he played it straight (so to speak), apparently didn't cause his group problems with his bullshit, and made it to the next round.
For real? The bullshittery surrounding this guy isn't just coming from him, so I have no idea what their plans for him are.

Name? Von Smith (22, Greenwood, MO)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? Can't tell now, but I'll be interested to see if he's willing to follow Simon's spot-on advice to quit singing like a song-murdering science experiment showing off for the 'rents.
For Real? Yes, I'm sure.

Name? Michael Castro (16, Rockwall, TX)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? Nothing other than that he advanced.
For Real? Probably.

Name? Matt Breitzke (27, Bixby, OK)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That he's not all that great.
For Real? Yes, because I think more people are fooled than are not.

Name? Jamar Rogers (26, Milwaukee, WI)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That he's physically incapable of either singing anything but "California Dreamin'" or being more than 3 meters from Danny Gokey at any moment.
For Real? Seems destined to be the last person eliminated in the Chair episode, with Danny advancing. Godwilling.

Name? Danny Gokey (28, Milwaukee, WI)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That despite his me-me-lookit-me personality, he's really fucking good at singing. God damn it.
For Real? Oh yeah.

Name? India Morrison (22, Kansas City, MO)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That sometimes you can make it to the Top 75 without ever singing.
For Real? I honestly don't know. I love her, and she's entertaining as hell, but even Blake Lewis had to sing a couple of times.

Name? Lil Rounds (23, Memphis, TN)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That an oversung, kinda crappy "I Will Always Love You" can fool all of the judges, some of the time.
For Real? I liked her a lot initially, so I'm hoping she's able to pull it together in the future, because she'll be around for a while.

Name? Jeremy Michael Sarver (27, Jasper, TX)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That he didn't get any less hot or talented.
For Real? It'll probably be the less-talented Breitzke who gets the token "roughneck" spot.

Name? Cody Shelton (17, Detroit, MI)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? Absolutely nothing.
For Real? His relative invisibility doesn't bode well.

Name? Alex Wagner-Trugman (19, Los Angeles)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That he's still terribly charming, but maybe not as good a singer as we might've hoped.
For Real? I'm feeling pessimistic.

Name? Scott MacIntyre (22, Scottsdale, AZ)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? Actually not much, considering he's supposed to be such a slam-dunk.
For Real? Um, he's still blind, you guys. Duh.

NEW(ISH) FACES

Name? Kris Allen (24, Conway, AZ)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That argyle doesn't look crappy on everybody. (Kris was also part of the "I Want You Back" group with Matt and India.)
For real? It would be really nice, for me personally, if he was.

Name? Justin Williams (26, Mesa, AZ )
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That even stellar groups who kick ass on "I Want You Back" can have weak links.
For real? Probably not.

Name? Nathaniel Marshall (19, Malone, NY)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That everybody complaining about Danny Noriega last year needs to shut up and send him a retroactive apology, because clearly it could have been so much worse.
For real? The massive amounts of camera time suggests he could make Top 36. The track record of the "Idol" voting audience suggests that's as far as he'll get.

Name? Kristin McNamara (22, Napa Valley, CA)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That Nathaniel wasn't nearly the most annoying or hateful person in his ill-fated group.
For real? OH MY GOD I HATE THIS BITCH SO MUCH. She's one of those people who seeks out drama just so she can pretend like she's above it all. I almost want her to make Top 36 so I can hate her for a few more weeks.

Name? Jesse Langseth (25, Minneapolis, MN)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That there are still some diamonds in that rough.
For real? I hope so. Late entrants don't always fare so well, though.

Name? Muna Hiluf (16, Las Vegas, NV)
What Did We Learn in Hollywood? That she can put up with massive amounts of Tatiana bullshit without murdering anyone.
For real? I doubt it, but maybe we could give her a medal or something.

Meet the (Possible) Contenders: New York/San Juan

2009-01-31T18:43:00.000-08:00

[P.S.: Unlike last year, YouTube has been scoured of all Idol footage, so I'm not embedding clips. But this site has some clips up -- for as long as FOX will allow it -- so you can check them out there.]

Name? Jorge Nuñez (20, Carolina, PR)
Major malfunction? Cute, gayish, Mark Anthony-ish.
For real? The judges were pretty tepid on his chances.

Name? Melinda Camile (21, Stratford, CT)
Major malfunction? Being a nudist weirdo.
For real? I doubt it. Just because she made it doesn't mean she's not a novelty audition.

Name? Jackie Tohn (27, Silver Lake, CA)
Major malfunction? Obnoxious Leslie Hunt type who sang Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours."
For real? She might be an acquired taste, but I don't see Top 12 in her.

Name? Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle (27, Brookfield, CT)
Major malfunction? Joke audition that managed to sneak through to Hollywood based on the enduring appeal of the Paul Lynde archetype.
For real? No. But it's not the end of civilization as we know it that one joke audition will end up getting cut on Day 1 of Hollywood week.

Name? Monique Garcia Torres (16, San Juan, PR)
Major malfunction? Advanced on the cuteness of her little brother.
For real? I actually thought she was good enough to advance on her own, but not good enough to make it past Hollywood.

Name? Patricia Lewis Roman (20, Caguas, PR)
Major malfunction? Big family. Sang the accursed "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."
For real? The judges seemed way more pessimistic on her than was warranted. I thought she was quite good.

Meet the (Possible) Contenders: Salt Lake City

2009-01-31T18:39:00.000-08:00

[P.S.: Unlike last year, YouTube has been scoured of all Idol footage, so I'm not embedding clips. But this site has some clips up -- for as long as FOX will allow it -- so you can check them out there.]

Name? David Osmond (29, Salt Lake City, UT)
Major malfunction? Has Multiple Sclerosis. Is an Osmond.
For real? Ohhhh I certainly think so. For better or for worse.

Name? Frankie Jordan (24, Hollywood, CA)
Major malfunction? Amy Winehouse sound-alike.
For real? I suppose it depends on how much the producers think they need an Amy Winehouse soundalike.

Name? Megan Corkrey (23, Sandy, UT)
Major malfunction? Single mom from the Big Love town of Sandy, Utah. Resembles if Rory Gilmore grew up, got tats, had a kid, and got divorced.
For real? She's likeable, memorable, and in possession of a distinctive, crackling kind of voice. Will it hold up in Hollywood (or beyond)?

Name? Austin Sisneros (17, Provo, UT)
Major malfunction? Precocious class president who is here to inspire people (i>Gaaaaaaack). Auditioned with songs by Train and Raffi.
For real? The judges really dug his babyfaced soul shtick, but I can't be the only one who found him wholly obnoxious, even if much of what's objectionable about him is a byproduct of being a sheltered Utah teen.

Name? Taylor Vaifanua (16, Salt Lake City, UT)
Major malfunction? Seven-foot-tall with a great voice (her "Joyful, Joyful" was the rare religious-song audition that didn't annoy me).
For real? I hope so -- I really like this girl and would totally root for her.

Name? Rose Fleck (17, Rathdrum, ID)
Major malfunction? Dreadlocked orphan; looks like a homeless Kherington Payne.
For real? Seems like the perfect idol rags-to-riches story. Luckily, she seems more likeable than you'd think. Unluckily, her voice is weaker than you'd like in an Idol contender.

Meet the (Possible) Contenders: Jacksonville

2009-01-31T18:33:00.000-08:00

[P.S.: Unlike last year, YouTube has been scoured of all Idol footage, so I'm not embedding clips. But this site has some clips up -- for as long as FOX will allow it -- so you can check them out there.]

Name? Joshua Ulloa (22, Beverly Hills, FL)
Major malfunction? Possesses a physical resemblance to Justin Guarini. Thinks this is something to be proud of.
For real? I would doubt it. His "Let's Get It On" was middling at best.

Name? Sharon Wilbur (25, Jacksonville, FL)
Major malfunction? Owns a Shi Tzhu; creates her personality accordingly.
For real? They've let in annoyingly breathy Britney sound-alikes before -- Kady Malloy last year, for example. But there doesn't seem to be much memorable about this girl.

Name? Julissa Veloz (19, Orlando, FL)
Major malfunction? Pageant Girl, complete with the dumb sash and tiara and everything. A voice that's both proficient and decidedly unpleasant (correctly pegged by Simon).
For real? She would need a lot of work.

Name? Jasmine Murray (17, Brookhaven, MS)
Major malfunction? Lots of sisters, cute and personable, likes Fergie.
For real? Simon found her "cute and commercial" and I kind of agree. Though she doesn't really have much of a hook.

Name? Ann Marie Boskovich (23, Nashville, TN)
Major malfunction? Not memorable enough on first go-round and after a parking-lot makeover, the judges still didn't seem all that knocked out.
For real? The judges are either all turned around or pulling a rope-a-dope, because Ann Marie was easily in the top 30-40% of auditioners. Even singing that insipid "Bubbly" song.

Name? T.K. Hash (23, Charlotte, NC)
Major malfunction? Auditioned with the David Archuleta version of "Imagine."
For real? God, I hope not. The judges really liked him, though. (Note: this was exactly how I felt about Syesha after her audition, so...)

Top 36?

2009-01-30T09:58:00.000-08:00

From the FWIW Department:

Ricky.org has
a possibly compelling projection list
(with lotsa video linkage)
of this year's Top 36?

I'm so dizzy by this weird audition cycle I can use all the help I can get.

Meet the (Possible) Contenders: Louisville

2009-01-23T18:50:00.000-08:00

[P.S.: Unlike last year, YouTube has been scoured of all Idol footage, so I'm not embedding clips. But this site has some clips up -- for as long as FOX will allow it -- so you can check them out there.]

Name? Joanna Pacitti (23, Philadelphia, PA)
Major malfunction? This season's "I used to have a record deal and this is my second chance" contestant, sure to earn the scorn and hatred of Idol fans everywhere for her hateful perseverance.
For real? Most certainly. I'm not sure I love her, but she's easily in the top echelon of featured auditioners.

Name? Brent Keith Smith (29, Blanchester, OH)
Major malfunction? Being super hot and countrified and conspicuously middle-America (dig the cross necklace!).
For real? Maybe. He seems to be the TYPE of person Simon would want to sell, but these guys tend to fall by the wayside in Hollywood. Stay tuned.

Name? Matt Giraud (23, Kalamazoo, MI)
Major malfunction? Showing up to audition in jeans and a fairly ratty white t-shirt. Sounding like the love child of Chris Richardson and Elliott Yamin (another reason to hate Elliott! He had a love child with my Chris!). Something about dueling pianos.
For real? I'm weirdly fascinated by him. And I'm not sure if that's necessarily positive or negative. Is he arrogant? Insecure? Blasé? Regardless, there's something there that makes me want to learn more. And Simon thinks he "could be great," which is a pretty good endorsement.

Name? Alexis Grace (20, Memphis, TN)
Major malfunction? Stay-at-home mom with a fiance in military school. Subtext: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS SLICE-OF-LIFE INDIE MOVIE!
For real? I have to tell you, I LOVE this girl. Easily in the top 0.1% of most likeable auditioners this year (it's her and the upcoming Leneshe). The judges didn't seem over the moon about her voice, but I think there's real potential there. And the fact that she couldn't deliver a convincing "WOO!" on command actually speaks in her favor.

Then came the parade of Hollywood-bound auditioners who didn't merit actual screen time because they needed t set aside a block for that nerdy guy who drank from Paula's straw. So there was (the wicked hot) Kris Allen, raven-haired Felicia Barton, Ryan Johnson, and Shera Lawrence.

Name? Leneshe Young (18, Cincinnati, OH)
Major malfunction? Grew up in poverty with her quite-awesome mom. Performed her own original song, which NEVER works out.
For real? ...Except for this time, because against all odds, that song was amazing. And she's super likeable. This girl is all kinds of for real.

Meet the (Possible) Contenders: San Francisco

2009-01-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

[P.S.: Unlike last year, YouTube has been scoured of all Idol footage, so I'm not embedding clips. But this site has some clips up -- for as long as FOX will allow it -- so you can check them out there.]

REALLY crappy episode on Tuesday. Seven golden tickets handed out, but only two of them to people who could possibly make a dent in Hollywood. Alas, we truck on.

Name? Tatiana Del Toro (23, San Juan, PR)
Major malfunction? Being a crazy over-dramatic asshole. Only put through because her halfway decent voice fails to match her train-wreck personality.
For real? Not even.

Name? Jesus Valenzuela (29, North Highlands, CA)
Major malfunction? Weak, Aaron Neville-ish voice; passed through because Paula and Kara can't say no to children.
For real? No. Shouldn't have even made it to Hollywood.

John Twiford, Allison Iraheta, and Raquel Houghton all made it, but we barely got to see them at all, and I didn't get a chance to figure out anything to make fun of them for, so y'all are on your own.

Name? Adam Lambert (26, Hollywood, CA)
Major malfunction? Totally amazing theater kid; but, like, "Fiyero in L.A. production of 'Wicked' for the last year" kind of theater kid.
For real? Until middle America figures out some things about him, you bet!

Name? Kai Kalama (26, San Clemente, CA)
Major malfunction? Powered by a mother's love and a killer voice. Definitely some duckling-swan potential here.
For real? I hope so. I was rather fond of him, sick-mother heartstring-tugging aside.

Meet the (Possible) Contenders: Kansas City

2009-01-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

[P.S.: Unlike last year, YouTube has been scoured of all Idol footage, so I'm not embedding clips. But this site has some clips up -- for as long as FOX will allow it -- so you can check them out there.]

Name? Ashley Anderson (20, Clarksburg, NJ)
Major Malfunction? Knows enough to butter Simon up with a Leona Lewis song.
For Real? She's pretty unremarkable otherwise.

Name? Casey Carlson (20, Minneapolis, MN)
Major Malfunction? She doesn't really have one. She even spells her first name in the least egregious way possible.
For Real? There's Haley Scarnato potential there. Which, before you scoff, would make her a fairly lucrative pool pick.

Name? Von Smith (22, Greenwood, MO)
Major Malfunction? So remember back when Dreamgirls was just released and there was that little white kid who was all over YouTube and The View singing "And I Am Telling You" in the style of a more-aggressive hydrogen bomb? Allow me to reintroduce you to Von Smith.
For Real? Much to my immense chagrin, yes. He killed "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," and I don't mean that in the Randy Jackson sense, I mean "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is lying dead by the side of the road somewhere in Kansas City having been strangled, pummeled, and bled dry. Clearly, this is the kind of talent America is clamoring for.

Name? Michael Castro (16, Rockwall, TX)
Major Malfunction? Jason Castro's little brother.
For Real? Contrary to the opinion of Jason's legion of semi-literate fans, I liked ol' dreadlocks for the most part. I am not, thus far, much of a fan of the younger Castro. He's got all the vocal limitations of his brother but none of the charm. Still, he's got an instant recognition factor that could keep him alive through the Hollywood and semi-final rounds.

Name? Matt Breitzke (27, Bixby, OK)
Major Malfunction? Welder. Possible former cast member of the HBO prison drama "Oz."
For Real? He seems to be in a kind of existential arm-wrestling match with Michael Sarver for the title of Beefy, Blue-Collar Family Man Contestant of Choice. I choose Michael, but I could definitely be in the minority there.

Name? Jessica Furney (19, Wamego, KS)
Major Malfunction? Auditioned with a Janis Joplin song and didn't totally blow it.
For Real? She seems like the kind of girl I THINK will catch fire in Hollywood but ultimately doesn't.

Name? Jamar Rogers (26, Milwaukee, WI)
Major Malfunction? Sang "California Dreamin'" for his audition.
For Real? I literally don't remember anything else about him. Not a good sign.

Name? Danny Gokey (28, Milwaukee, WI)
Major Malfunction? Wife died four months (weeks? days?) ago. Is kind of a drama queen about it.
For Real? He single-handedly made me happy to not be recapping this season. Because nobody likes to be the asshole pointing out how the recent widower is being kind of obnoxious as the shoves her photo into everybody's face and tells stories about how bad-assedly he yelled at the doctors during her final days. And certainly nobody likes to be pointing those kinds of things out for the better part of the season, which is how long I expect Danny to stick around.

Name? Anoop Desai (21, Chapel Hill, NC)
Major Malfunction? Completing his masters in Southern folklore and writing his thesis on Southern BBQ? Did I dream that whole thing up?
For Real? I appreciate the dedication to non-traditional education, but since he's competing that bullshitty major at North Carolina, I no longer have to like him. Um, also, he wasn't that remarkable.

Name? India Morrison (22, Kansas City, MO)
Major Malfunction? Auditioned with her sister, the ever-awesome Asia.
For Real? I don't even think I paid attention to her vocal chops because I found her and her sister to be so incredibly likeable and fun. I'm really rooting for her. Maybe the judges/voters will too?

Name? Asa Barnes (28, Kansas City, MO)
Major Malfunction? Band leader. Wildly attractive. Is named "Asa" despite being under the age of 75.
For Real? Impressed the judges by singing Michael Jackson, which is apparently very rare. I love him, but he doesn't stand out from the crowd enough to be a sure-thing.

Name? Lil Rounds (23, Memphis, TN)
Major Malfunction? Married with children and a tornado-ravaged home.
For Real? Lil Rounds is delightful. And I just love saying her name. And she can sing. And the judges adore her. Will that all be enough? I think she's a contender.

Meet the (Possible) Contenders: Phoenix

2009-01-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

Holy eff, y'all, the new season is already upon us. And like I did last year, I'm gonna post on the featured (successful) auditions here on the blog, just in case you want to do the pool but don't want to watch the audition episodes (and who could blame you?). Starting with Tuesday's episode, from Phoenix:

[P.S.: Unlike last year, YouTube has been scoured of all Idol footage, so I'm not embedding clips. But this site has some clips up -- for as long as FOX will allow it -- so you can check them out there.]

Name? Emily Wynne-Hughes (21, Los Angeles)
Major Malfunction? Rocker chick, with all the multi-colored hair that entails. Continued Idol's systematic demystification of Heart's back catalog (though, seriously, "Barracuda" a capella is not easy). Maybe definitely has giant crystal orbs shoved into her earlobes.
For Real? Eh. She's got distinctive image to spare, and Simon likes that, but her voice seems to top out at Gina Glocksen levels.

Name? J.B. Ahfua (16, Taylorsville, UT)
Major Malfunction? Shamed his father on national television by claiming his desire to support his family financially.
For Real? Probably not, considering I don't recall anything about his audition besides his formidable eyebrows.

Name? Arianna Afsar (16, San Diego, CA)
Major Malfunction? Adopt a Grand-Friend! The vaguely condescending charitable endeavor of 2009!
For Real? In the eye of the beholder, it seems. I think she could be Girl Archuleta with an even more tangible sense of global charity. But does the Archuleta thing work if you're a girl?

Name? Stevie Wright (16, Phelan, CA)
Major Malfunction? Named after Stevie Nicks.
For Real? Probably not.

Name? Michael Sarver (27, Jasper, TX)
Major Malfunction? Totally adorable oil driller family man.
For Real? I may have been blinded by the cartoon hearts coming out of my eyes at the time, but from what I could hear, he sounded really good.

Name? Katrina Darrell (20, Chino Hills, CA)
Major Malfunction? Bikini Girl.
For Real? Bikini Girl.

Name?Brianna Quijada
Major Malfunction? Super nervous. Barely made it to Hollywood on the dubious tandem votes of Paula and Simon.
For Real? No, but she'll do a great job causing people unneeded stress during Hollywood week.

Name? Deanna Brown (25, Louisville, KY)
Major Malfunction? I'm pretty sure she had one, but I honestly don't remember it.
For Real? I really liked her voice, but I fear she's going to be as unmemorable to everyone else as she is to me.

Name? Cody Shelton (17, Detroit, MI)
Major Malfunction? Horror movie fan/filmmaker with a cadre of female platonic friends who all may or may not understand what's going on there.
For Real? I liked him a lot a lot a lot, but I'm probably not one to go by with these high-school misfit types (see: Danny Noriega).

Name? Alex Wagner-Trugman (19, Los Angeles)
Major Malfunction? Nerdy, mold-infested dynamo, who might be the most awesome contestant on this show ever.
For Real? I can't imagine I'd ever be that lucky.

Name? Scott MacIntyre (22, Scottsdale, AZ)
Major Malfunction? Unable to high-five Ryan Seacrest for reasons beyond the usual "I'd rather not high-five Ryan Seacrest."
For Real? Everybody seems to think the blindness means he's got this competition in the bag for reasons of human-interest and sympathy. To those people, I say three words: Crack Baby Denise.

As Idol Goes, So Goes Idol Pool

2008-12-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

Howdy, friends who still have the Idol Pool blog in your blog readers! I'm gonna send the big pool email out around New Year's and hopefully we'll get an even bigger field than the last two years.

BUT FIRST (wait, wrong show), we should lay out the format changes that Idol is undertaking this year, because it's going to alter the pool ever so slightly.

You can check out the rundown of the changes to the show right here, but the gist is:

-- one fewer week of auditions (WOO!)
-- one additional week of Hollywood (WOO!)
-- back to 36 semifinalists instead of 24
-- the 36 will then be divided into 3 groups of 12
-- each group of 12 will perform, and the top 3 vote getters in each group make the finals (3x3=9)
-- after that, the judges choose three wild cards among the losers to make up the 12 finalists
-- the Top 12 then proceed as usual, with one voted off each week through the end of the season

In terms of the pool, this would mean making our picks from a field of 36 instead of 24. That's not ideal for several reasons, the foremost being that, with the field knocked from 36 to 12 within three weeks, a lot of entires could be knocked out of contention incredibly early on.

So I'm tweaking the rules in the following way: We'll choose TWO contestants from the Top 36 (and out TWO musical artists as usual). Then, when the Top 12 are decided, we'll be able to select ONE additional contestant.

Questions and/or comments about this rule change? They would be most appreciated. And welcome back, faithful poolies!

A full rendering of the pool rules are as follows:

Once the Top 36 Are Selected
YOU SELECT two A.I. contestants who you think will go the farthest in the competition.

YOU ALSO SELECT two real-world musical artists whose songs you think will be covered in abundance during the course of the season.

YOU SIT BACK and watch the points accumulate for your chosen ones during the three semifinal weeks.

YOU GET POINTS WHEN YOUR CONTESTANT

...is the first to sing on the performance show (+2)

...is the last to sing on the performance show (+3)

...is voted into the finals by the public (+5)

...is the top male or female vote getter in his/her semifinal group (+2) (provided they tell us)

...is chosen to compete in the Wild Card show (+1)

...is chosen to make the finals as a wild card (+3)

...is Simon's wild card choice (+2)*

YOU LOSE POINTS WHEN YOUR CONTESTANT
...is Paula's wild card choice (-2)*

*Provided the judges each choose one wild-card as their own personal pick, as has been done in the past.

YOU GET POINTS WHEN YOUR MUSICAL ARTIST
...has a song of theirs covered on the show (+2 per song)

After the Top 12 are Named

YOU SELECT one additional contestant to finalize your roster.

YOU ONCE AGAIN SIT BACK and watch the points roll in.

YOU GET POINTS WHEN YOUR CONTESTANT
...doesn’t get eliminated in a given week (+5)

...is the first to sing on the performance show (+2)

...is the last to sing on the performance show (+3)

...is put in the George Huff/Bo Bice/Taylor Hicks “King Solomon” position (+3)*

* To explain: this happens only once a year, and it’s usually when there are seven performers left. Seacrest puts three in one group, three in another, and asks the seventh person to choose which group he thinks didn’t finish at the bottom of the voting. That seventh person has to play King Solomon and basically choose who he thinks is awesome and who he thinks sucks. Anyway, it’s a way to pimp the King Solomon, so you should get points for it, I feel.

YOU LOSE POINTS WHEN YOUR CONTESTANT
...finishes in the bottom two but isn’t eliminated (-3)

...finishes in the bottom three but isn’t eliminated (-2)

YOU GET POINTS WHEN YOUR MUSICAL ARTIST

...has a song of theirs covered on the show (+2 per song)

...shows up as a special guest or judge (+2)

...has a theme week devoted to the contestants singing their songs (a +5 ceiling rather than points for each song individually)